I've received Eym's wedding card.
Mum and I both love the simplicity!
Just got to know Haz chose the ribbons. Great choice babe!
By the way, I'm missing this girl. Tons.

Another friend is getting engaged on the 16th.
I'm not sure if I can reveal who it is yet... so just wait and see.
Seems like this December is a month filled with wedding and engagement bells!
With 2 of my friends getting hitched, and 2 of the fiance's friends getting married too, December is one bee-zee month.
Oh and of course not forgetting Hazry who's getting married in about a week's time!
Didn't realise time is passing by that fast...

*tring a ling a ling*

Standing at 1.7m and weighing at 55kg, I'm a far cry from my 45kg frame 10 years ago.
Well, at 13, I was 1.68m. Not much difference in height but quite a substantial difference in weight!
Why the sudden weight issue?
Blame it on the Korean artistes Nina viewed online.
Ladies standing at 1.75m weighing 47kg... etc. You get the drift.
These skinny ladies contribute heavily to the self-insecurity that everyone else suffers from!
Sometimes, I wonder, what do they eat? Or maybe I should be asking, what are they NOT eating?
Gosh.

Anyway, cleaning my room has made this space more live-able.
There's still lots to be done but on the outlook, it's pretty satisfying.
The unseen mess has not been cleared though.
Heh.

There're still those GESL forms to be completed but I'm too lazy to do any work now.
It's the semester break.
Logging in to the portal requires immense effort on my part.
It's a matter of time but some day, I'll find that energy and enthusiasm to complete those forms.
Just hope I get it done before the next semester starts!

I'm simply loving the holidays!

I am so tempted to get that LV bag.
That's what happens when I've nothing better to do than surf the Net.
But at that price, I can get a bigger bag from Coach.
Oooooh... what should I do?
Should I get it? Should I not?
I don't wanna spend too much.
Most of the bags that captivated my heart are quite pricey. I'm trying my best to not get tempted.
Easier said than done, of course.
I just feel like getting that tiny bag from LV. Or that not so tiny bag from LV too.
I've yet to decide.

Oooh.. itchy hands.

All I wanna do now is rot at home since it's the holidays.
I've yet to start cleaning my room. This would be one herculean task.
Have you seen how messy my room is?
I don't know where to start. Haha.
The wardrobe is in a mess, my make-up stuff is strewn all over the table, books and notes are everywhere, and so are my bags. And there's the cupboard where I dump everything in.
I should get started on it tomorrow! I'm just afraid I'll lose the patience and the passion to clean halfway through. That is ALWAYS the problem with me. Sighz.

When I look at my cousins who are independent i.e. living without a domestic helper, I wonder if I'll ever have such a well-kept house in future.
They work and clean but I don't think they cook much.
I'm not sure if that's ever gonna work out for me, the working and cleaning part. Let's not even step into the cooking realm.
I'm so afraid my house in future will turn out to be like my room (currently).
Having lived with a domestic helper since young makes it difficult for me to imagine life without one.
I will be a mess if I keep up my undomestic ways in future.
The problem is I expect to come home to a well-kept house and food is ready to be served at all times of the day!
How is this going to be possible without a domestic helper?
Oh I don't know.

So cleaning is Task 1.
Task 2 is finding the venue for the wedding.
Restaurants are too small while the food that hotels serve is not to our liking.
Mum wants the food of our choice to be served instead of the horrid food that comes with the venue as part of the package. I totally agree with Mum on this.
The place is usually okay but they always impose on us to hire their catering services.
More searching, e-mailing and calls to make.

I told him bout what I've been thinking.
I'm still undecided. It may not be smiled upon but in my opinion, it's rational.
I've always been rational. Being nice is not a priority.

Think I should be getting my sleep now to prepare myself for an arduous day of cleaning tomorrow!
There's tons to be done... I'm giving myself a week to get my room straightened out.
Tidying up the wardrobe alone will take me one day. I hate clearing the wardrobe.
Aaaargh.

Good night all.

Apparently there never was a need for that misunderstanding.
I didn't get the right info.
It's only right that I apologise.

But things don't feel the same anymore.

I don't know what else is to be done.
Sighz.

I gotta listen to my heart but I can't seem to hear anything!
This is so frustrating.

God, help me.

Saturday had been tiring, not because of the bbq but due to the time spent with the people I like the least.
No further elaboration here cos I don't wanna get all riled up and disgusted.
But I still enjoyed the time spent with the fiance cos last week had been a rough week.

Then Sunday came: Bai's wedding. It was magical.
Of course it was, I knew who was responsible for the decor.
If you paid that kind of money just for your decor, it better be worth every single cent.
But it was lovely...

Today was the start of the 2.5 days camp. It was tiring but pretty fun.
1 day down, 1.5 days more to go!
We can do it! Let's get this over & done with!

And Mum has finally finalised the guest list!
With this confirmation, it's tons easier to look for a venue...

With the start of the holidays, more work needs to be done.
At least it's working on something that interests me...

Screw you. Do I need you around?
I don't think so.
From today on, I'll pretend you never existed.
Maybe one day, it will become reality.

I feel so fucking disappointed.
Suddenly.
And frustrated.
Oh screw you.

It's taking a toll on my psychological well-being.
I need to let go.
... Breathe...

Aaarrrgh!

*Update: I finally got around to changing the skin to this blog! Yippee!

I had an amazing time with Haz, James, Ramadhan & Farah & their daughter.
It's been a long time since I had a great time with friends, laughter coupled with good food.
It felt great to just crap and not talk about anything that has to do with school work.
And of course, Ramadhan's daughter, Fatema, is super duper cute with her chubby cheeks and big eyes!

Another test tomorrow, this time a group test.
After tomorrow, I'm getting myself tons of dvds. That and tons of sleep and exercise.

But for now, I need to study for that test.
I am so not in the mood to study for it.
Sighz.

I fell asleep twice earlier today studying for Bio. Too many terms, too tired.
And even after the 2 naps, I'm still tired now.
It's a gd thing paper's in the afternoon tomorrow, gives me time to actually be awake for the day and not zombie through my journey to Jurong.
Sometimes I'm on auto mode where I'm not exactly aware of where to go but I know I've to exit at the designated exit.
Sighz.

I'm not even sure why I'm blogging right now.
I'm too tired to carry on.
Good night.

This is one of those nights where I should be asleep but I'm still awake and surfing the Net.
I should be asleep because...

• I need to wake up early to go to the mosque tomorrow.
• I'm tired after trying to digest biological terms, definitions and functions for breakfast, lunch & dinner.
  

Guess I can't sleep cos I've been thinking too much.
The usual... About how things have changed with time.
I've never had much faith in it but now it's proven.
I was right all along.
There's so much to say yet no words can describe what I feel.

Anyway, I've been real excited about where to indulge next Tuesday.
Haz is all for it! Yay!
Foodie sessions always keep me hyper and trigger happy! Hehehe.
It's just the journey to Tuesday that's putting a damper on things.

And I've been missing him so much it's beginning to hurt.
But it's not like we don't meet.
Oh, I don't know. Sometimes I'm so complicated.
I just miss him.

Do you understand?

I am so fucking tired.

And crampy. My menses came a week earlier than expected, leaving me with a day of cramps.
It surprised me yesterday just before we caught "The Game Plan".
Ouch.

I've been working on the Science stuff since I came home.
Cramps and assignments don't complement each other well.
Especially when I'm rambling through my lit review, not exactly sure of what to write cos I can't find the details in the assignment document.
By details, I mean details.
The coordinators should really reflect on what is meant by details, not just a mass of words that beat about the bush.

Haz is kind enough to help me read through what I've read.
Really didn't want to trouble her but I'm desperate.
She's done the checking. I'm on the right track.
Phew! Thanks babe!
I really need to hear that!

With the assignment out of the way, I can now start studying for the exams.
I really can't wait for next Tuesday to be over...

I just woke up from my nap when it suddenly struck me that I should have solved that question using this method instead of the one I used for the exam earlier this morning.
Sighz.
It's okay... Maths papers are over anyway. One thing's for sure, Maths simply keep me going...
I'm still loving it!

Unlike Science... I left A-level physics (literally throwing away everything after the A-levels) only to be greeted by it again now. Parts of it of course, not the whole A-level syllabus. I'll cry if that's the case... Paper's next Tuesday! Bio is on Monday, partial A-level stuff too, according to friends. I need to study... It's just a matter of time.

As I'm anticipating the papers next week, there's tons to complete this week. So far, things are going great. I need to finish up that Science assignment due this Friday. Hopefully by tomorrow so I don't have to travel all the way to school to submit it on Friday. This, however, may just be wishful thinking on my part cos I've not done the lit review! I've not even read any of the lit resources. Heh. I may just have to travel this Friday just to submit the assignment.

This has been one hell of a semester!

With geometry paper down today, it's time to study for the number systems on Monday.
I started on my Science 501 assignment upon reaching home. I think I'm done for the lesson plans and slides for the 1 hour lesson which I've amended like a million times. I need to refine the presented slides a little (again) and I should be done.
I don't wanna look at them anymore!
Write up the lit review on Monday and wrap it all up!

I'm only going to study for the number systems tomorrow...hehe.
I'm pretty tired after the 2-hour paper earlier.

After next week, life is going to be more smooth sailing with ALL assignments out of the way.

A tired and hungry person is a cranky person.
I need my sleep.

Exams are almost here! It's almost the end of the term... something that all of us have been looking forward to. Just when we thought they'd leave us alone since the exams are just round the corner (since that's the most humane thing to do, isn't it?), more assignments are due next week. As a friend has so aptly put it, this course is inhuman.

Anyway, the frustrating and ultimately infuriating assignment was completed just now. Thumbs up to me & Haz! Brrrriiilllliant! Even if I say so myself... hehe. So we went out for lunch, after about 4 hours of squeezing our brain juices to the very last drop to complete the assignment, and it was yummay! We, or at least I, walked out of that makan shop with a renewed exuberance to complete the individual reflection tonight. I can do it.... especially when there's no school tomorrow which means I can study for my paper on Saturday! Yay!

And of course, I simply had to purchase a box of donuts since there was a donut shop. It doesn't help that I'm forever having a sugary craving which can come in many forms! Haz is my latest companion to eat round the clock with me... join the club girl!

I'm pretty full since we had a late lunch earlier. But bibik's preparing tons of food since we're expecting guests tonight. I know I shouldn't eat dinner but I can't resist all the yummay food laid on the table. I'll just have a teeny weeny bit to satisfy myself... heheh