:: confused ::

:: confused ::


i never thought i'd feel this way.
suddenly im havin mixed feelings. im like thinkin.. is this rite? is this wat i really want?
i'd imagine myself in that position.
how would i react? juz to reaffirm my emotions.
im so confused rite now. i need a breather.
i browsed thru snapshots hopin to revive sth in me. it didn't.
feels like a confused teenager. which totally sux at this age.


anyway, im supposed to meet sarah this sat.
hav plans to shop. at least lookin forward to that.
plans for the rest of the day not yet confirmed. dun wanna barge in on her & her bf.
bf has yet to tell me if he's accompanyin me.


results out soon. this thursday at 3.
im anxious, excited.
sometimes i wonder.. if this is the cause of my emotional instability.
i hate waitin. for anythin.
maybe. i hav a feelin it does. i always get a lil irritable durin periods like this.
i waited for 2 wks.. somehow these last few days are takin its effect on me.
hurry hurry... cure me of this anxiety...

:: Halal Madness ::

:: Halal Madness ::


im up early today to surf around for info for the upcomin trip to london & paris.
as i was browsin thru the halal eatin guide in these 2 cities, there were other articles that popped up thru the search engine. im like.. wow.. we're sooo lucky we're livin in this part of the world. for muslims at least. halal eatin places is hardly an issue in spore & most fast-food restaurants hav been certified halal for quite some time now.


glanced thru an article regardin paris where parisians are enraged over the ban of non-halal food in supermarkets that cater to halal food. we should really count our blessings...
thank you for the tolerance of diverse religious beliefs.


there's always a lil sacrifice involved wen my family travels cos we've to find for halal food which we really hav no idea which part of the city the restaurants are at, unless it's muslim countries like turkey & the middle east where everythin is certified halal of course... sometimes we've to make do with vegetarian & fish which can be really bleagh, especially the latter dish, cos it's not done to our asian tastes where steamed fish is the norm at home. & it doesn't help that i don't fancy fish & chips much.


i juz hav to express myself regardin this halal food issue cos it can be really sensitive in most places. we are so fortunate... alhamdulillah

attended an old friend's weddin with bf earlier today all the way at jurong.
so far rite? i noe...
she was my good friend back in amp & we met again in nus.
a lil surprised wen i received her invitation card cos i was like... wow!
im happy for her tho.. glad she found her fairytale...
& to think that i thought raudah was gonna be my ferz fren to tie the knot. hehe...


then went out with mummie & acap to buy his phone.
someone has a new phone & refuse to exchange with me. haha...
so finally... acap's no longer loyal to nokia. he got himself a sony ericsson phone... w810, cos mie put her foot down on N80 that costs like 700+ with 2 years contract!


anyway, i got myself a chanel lipgloss after my trip to wayan retreat...
it's gorgeous. vanilla dream... aah... im so contented now.
& im stuck on these products by Aqua Dessa & Purity Cosmetics. im such a HUGE fan of organic products & these products are godsent... seriously. they hav wonderful smells which appeals to ure senses with lovely textures. their facial polish is a must try! okay, im like doin a free ad for them but i feel like sharin with everyone cos they're absolutely wonderful. i simply love the facial polish. currently usin honey raspberry... wil hav to try other flavours once this tub is finished. im so xcited!! like a lil girl left alone in a toy store...


went on a spree at La Senza where i usually get comfy, funky & affordable cotton lingerie & apparel too! got a funky striped skirt at a discount!! they're havin sale now.. so take a trip down to their shop!!
for gorgeous lacy & comfy lingerie... i adore wacoal. hav been wantin to try victoria's secret but im a lil skeptical on the comfort factor. maybe i should buy one from a shop here before i purchase any online. i should put a stopper on buyin lingerie. think i've enuf to open up a store cos i keep buyin them...
& if u love lacy tangas like me... there's a shop at level one far east which sells pretty nice ones. affordable too! i juz can't rem the name of the shop rite now but it's kinda obvious cos they sell only lingerie.


& of coz the weekend is not complete without watchin The Da Vinci Code.
it's good.. i won't deny it but there's simply too many distortions from the novel.
nice endin tho... touchin.
nxt wk: x-men 3. muz watch okay!! i've been watchin x-men cartoons since pri skul!!
so im sooo xcited to go watch it!!


acquired quite a number of things over the weekends makin me one satisfied girl...
but the thot of tomoro dampens my spirits a lil.
i hate mondays even tho i dun hav skul these days cos it's tuition day... but it's also payday!
the thot of it brightens up my day... juz a tad... hehe

it's days like this that i don't really favour.
woke up for subuh prayers & not bein able to resume my sleep. & it's not like i had an early nyte last nyte. can never sleep early these days no matter how early i turn in.
need to go buy that much needed essence of chicken or bird's nest.


had an impromptu rendezvous with haslina for lunch yesterday.
it was short cos i had tuition in the afternoon. juz one more lesson & im free for the hols. woopee!
juz not in the mood for tuition durin my hols...


plans today:
hav an appointment at wayan retreat later at 12.
then errands to run for mummie & shop ard a lil. see how it goes if im not too tired.
i hav stil not bought myself lipgloss cos i didn't like wat i tested on yesterday. so maybe i'll continue the search later.
im so tired already.
sleep... i need sleep...


anyway, my dear frens.. wen are we meetin up?
i miss u gerls already!!
need the foodie sessions... coupled with all that laughter!
it's therapeutic...

:: Cakap Pasal Melayu ::

:: Cakap Pasal Melayu ::


i bloghopped & came across someone's blog. she had one interestin entry...
sorry eh, anak i tak tau cakap melayu (sorry, my child doesn't noe how to speak Malay).
i thot it's a pretty interestin entry. i couldn't speak fluent malay back in pri skul. & sec days were not much better. durin jc was even worse. my A level malay oral was horrendous!! fearin i would fail the language cos i really thot i'd failed the oral exam only to turn out gettin A1 for the subject. cos i found out that oral was not included in the calculation of the marks. phew!! i can write but i can't speak. & i remember leavin the exam hall of every malay exam with a huge headache cos i've been flippin & flippin thru the dictionary for the essay exam. & tryin hard to translate english words to malay for the paper II.


who can i attribute this fault to? myself? maybe...
wen i was younger, english was the main medium used at home. malay words were inserted here & there. my granddaddy could speak in simple english.
& the maid, hardly speak to her unless necessary.
& it had to do with my circle of friends too. frinn was my bestest fren back in pri skul. we used to get scolded in malay class for speakin in english. & the number of malay students could be counted with ure fingers. of which, we weren't close to.
basically, she was my fren & i was her fren in malay class.
then came secondary skul which literally gave me a culture shock. came home & told my parents that there were so many malays in the class itself!! the number of malay students in my class in sec 1 was more than the total no. of malay students in my level wen i was in pri skul.
& the people i formed cliques with were multiracial which eliminated the use of mother tongue.
cikgu alamdin used to complain to my mum at every parent-teacher meetin that i wasn't speakin enuf of the language.
then came jc. long story but to keep the story short, i went back to cj partly cos i couldn't take the pressure from the malay teacher in tpjc. i could hav stayed but i refused the offer.
i felt more at home in cj. where malay was less stressful cos there were too many non-malays takin malay. eurasians, chinese, indians... cikgu was great too. i tried my best to speak the language cos i realised how important it was for me to pass my exams. only to hav the examiner laugh at me durin the A level oral exam for my wrong choice of words. it didn't help that i was the only malay student in class.


so wen did i pick up the language? i hav my frens in nus to thank for. nash & wana... who wen i ferz met, were laughin their asses off at me cos i was stumblin over my words. truthfully speakin, i was real uncomfortable wen i got together with them for the ferz time in nus. but i picked up the language & was usin aku-kau for the ferz time in my life! mum was shocked wen she heard our conversations... no doubt.


that's my life story of the use of malay...
people said it's a pity i picked up the language late. to me? i don't feel the difference.
maybe becos i've never appreciated the language in the ferz place. i got my distinctions in malay & that prob put my mum at ease. i don't even like half the people walkin down the street!
MnMs if u get my drift...
maybe cos i was brought up to see people regardless of their race.
but i've to thank nash & wana for bringin me back to my roots or at least half of it (haha!) for if not, this part of me would be forever lost in time...

:: foodie talk ::

:: foodie talk ::


in the mood for orange & red rite now. changed my skin!
can't seem to view my blog counter tho... can anyone see it?
i placed it under my tagboard... if u can juz gimme a tag aightz?


wanted to go get coral/peach lipgloss but im too lazy to get out of the house today.
shuckz. such a bum!!
should i go get it tomoro?
aaargh... so lazy.
think i should juz get it on thurs since im headin to that isetan sale.


noe wat else i should do? think i should pick up skinning-skills...
as in creatin skins. haha...
so i can create skins with my pix. wat a narcissist!
anyone willin to guide me?


things im supposed to do like NOW:
1. run / exercise / skip / swim
2. same as above
3. same as above
i've been bummin for months! wen was the last time i stepped foot in the gym...?
hmmm... think it was in march.
too bz in april. & may has dawned upon me.
gawd.. start movin ure ass jannah! enuf bummin already!
& i've been eatin sooo much lately!


speakin of food.. tried out that ikan bakar near nash's place... very yummy!
bf was like.. "wah, nash's place very good ar. a lot of things to eat."
not only their ikan bakar but their chicken & vege too... since i had those as well. hehe...
love their thai style chicken or sth along that line... chilli padi cut up into small pieces in sweet chilli sauce! super hot for me but it was yummy! stomach was rumblin tho after that... those who noe me well noe that i hav very low threshold of chilli. i don't even take chilli sauce!
but i eat everythin... juz drink more water wen it gets hot. solves the prob.
can't let this "flaw" set me back rite? i mean... food is the life! at least here in sunny, tropical spore.
rite now i need to find "new" places to eat.
gotta enliven the passion for food!
suggestions anyone?

mother's day yesterday was spent shoppin!!
after the moe trip... headed to orchard & we spent the whole day shoppin...
& there's isetan pvt sale this thursday so time to spend some more... heheh
i got 2 blouses from island shop & 2 bags from mum. *beamz*
i liked this 360 bucks bag from Guess but mum wouldn't buy me for skul. too ex for a skul bag she said. but it was damn nice lar! & that pair of Guess jeans but aunty faridah's goin to States in june. mum says to ask her to get it for me cos it's cheaper there or ask sarah to buy it since she can get staff discount.
mum got herself shoes from nine west & stuff. she got herself a few pairs of shoes from spain & morocco durin her trip & she says i own a lot of shoes... how ironic.
she liked this 300 bucks bag but she's undecided. lucky her... there's isetan sale this thurs! think she's gettin it then...
it had been a great day of shop, shop, shop!
lots of sale this season ar...


juz came back from brunch with my baby. so nice to meet him durin the day once in a while.
it was hot at ferz but then it turned cool. stil pretty cool now.
feelin so lazy & sleepy already... haha.
can't eat lunch cos i had a heavy brunch. rice. i never eat rice in the mornin or late mornin actually & havin had rice juz now was juz sooo heavy for me!
but the food was yummy...


rite now the bed juz looks too invitin... maybe wil go rest for a while. & prob devour that choc chip cookies we bought from marks & spencers yesterday. hehe.
love marks & spencers' biscuits. yummy!
nina & i finished up one of the choc-coated digestive biscuits yesterday! stil hav a few more packs... lucky. haha... choc junkies.
time to rummage through the kitchen...

fetched mummie at the airport earlier with nina & acap who came from skul. she kinda looked sunburnt cos "morocco was so hot!". her face was pretty red... but not as red as mine wen it gets hot. haha.. think i inherited that redness from mum.


suckin on harrods sweet rite now. mie bought lots of chocs & sweets knowin wat sweet teeth her children hav. nice... yum yum. she's aslp now tho... muz be the jetlag & the tirin loooong flight home. so the bag's not been unpacked but mie was carryin a new leather bag at the airport juz now. wonderin wat she's got in that luggage... hmmm.... juz gotta wait & see. hehe...


anyway, there's plenty of food at home now. bibik noes mummie's comin home today so she cooked asam pedas ikan duri.. mum's fav dish. mum always craves that everytime we come back from holidays. bibik has been with us for 8 years already... gonna continue for another 2 so she knows this family pretty well i hav to say. we had our daily family dinner at 7 which we haven't had for 12 days cos mum's away. then acap ordered pizza so we hav 2 large pizzas. kak ina bought choc tarts...they're delectable by the way. 2 boxes. so yes, there is a lot of food. but not enuf ppl to finish up the food tonyte. abang dan & kak leny are not here tonyte.


so im tired. dunno why. think it's the stay at home. im juz gawd damn bummin lar!! makin me more tired den usual. sighz...
should be goin out with the bf tomoro. excitin!!
& there's 2 must watch movies comin out in the next few wks... da vinci code & x-men 3.
yayness!!

events happenin after exams. lots of food.
tried han river which didn't taste nice. so i felt it wasn't worth the price i paid but heck, it's for the experience.
had dinner at sakura downtown east for their buffet on saturday & that too wasn't that great.
sucky food. dunno wat the big hoo-haa is about.
this sakura's not the one at far east. it's totally different companies.
& yesterday, we had arnold's which is not really a new experience cos we've eaten there before.
yummy chicken but lousy service. wat do u expect with mats & minahs waitin on u...
but it's pretty sad that their menu has shrunken to a recognizable difference.
no more burgers... & i can't rem wat else but i noe it's not the same as before.
& yes, went to all these makan places with who else but the darlin bf. *beamz*


headed to cisco for my photoshoot yesterday.
it's a gd thing bf came with me but it's too bad he had to wait at the waitin area.
lots of lecherous mats who made almost sexual comments in the lift.
it was kinda obvious it was meant for me cos i was the only malay girl in the lift & they made a remark bout that too.
bf was damn pissed but i had to restrain him from creatin a scene.
had lunch after that & he cheered up a great deal.
& we found old-skul lollipop at this shop at city plaza. we bought!!
ha ha... 2 overgrown children suckin on lollipops. hehe...


hav enjoyed myself a great deal after exams with my fav person.
spendin the whole day with him is juz pure bliss.
& receieved my c.a marks in the mail earlier.
with excellent c.a marks to boost lifts my spirits up even more.
so im a very happy person. haha...


promised nina to hav lunch with her tomoro to celebrate her last paper.
lookin forward to that.
more food. hehe...
mum comin home soon.
doesn't seem like she's gone for long albeit being away since 2 sundays ago.


cleaned up my room a lil earlier. basically my shelves to get rid of old notes & books.
now they look so clean & empty.
i like... but not for long.
stil hav my dressin table to clear. & the wardrobe.
wil clear those wen im in the mood.
haha.. im sooo lazy wen it comes to cleanin up.


oh & i finally did some readin.
hav put that on hold for a very loooong time due to skul.
read brown's da vinci code in one nyte.
took me bout 7 hrs.
it was damn interestin.. couldn't put it down.
so i slept at 5 on sunday nyte or i should say monday mornin.
hehe...im a fast reader.
which is why i dun buy most of the books i read.
i'll be done in a day! so i end up goin to the lib but their collection is nothin to be applauded about.
old collection of books cos the new ones are damn diff to get. so i end up buyin the new ones.


haven't taken photos lately. so it's been wordy entries for a while now.
& at this very moment, i feel like lazin ard. too tired.
i woke up at 1 this afnoon.
im stil tired.

procrastinatin from my notes.
it seems like everyone's done with their exams xcept for me.
ha ha... i'll be done with mine in less than 24 hrs. so i juz hav to be patient.
it's an evenin paper so can't do much after the paper.


hav loads of errands to run on friday. & im stil contemplatin if i should snip off my hair!!
okay, trim. the guys ard me i.e. the bro & the bf hav sth against the word cut, wen it's used in my context lar... hehehe
so should i or should i not?
then i stil need to buy some stuff before tuition on friday.
so if im trimmin my hair, i need to go down early...
cos there's plans in the evenin.
gonna watch THE WILD with my sis & bro cos my sis has been buggin me to go watch.
since mie's away, i've to do the honours of watchin it with her. & of coz, acap is not to be left out in our siblings get together.


im countin down til 5 tomoro.
i'll be free at 7!! yay!
shall do my best... it's the last!
back to studyin now...

:: roof over my head ::

sent mum to jb on sunday with my bro & sis.
reason? she's goin to spain with a few malaysians... one of them bein our tailor or seamstress or juz the boutique owner actually... faridah.
had lunch at her place the moment we reached jb.
& her house is damn huge i tell u!!
her taman which is the garden, is the size of my house or even slightly bigger than my house!!
& im livin in an executive flat... comparatively i think the space of my house is pretty okay for my family.
then suddenly we felt like our house was too small wen we went over to her place. haha!!
but we're thankful to hav a roof over our heads nonetheless.
apparently she's born rich die rich kinda person.
granddaddy's a politician & stuff.
before i even describe the interior decor... lemme tell u bout her gate. it's gorgeous.
& she has 5 cars.. those that i saw. not sure bout those that i didn't see.
luxury cars at that too.
in her house... she has wings. u noe only those that u read in fairytales??
yeah... she has like east & west wing or sth like that. cos she has 2 staircases leadin upstairs.
her guest room is triple the size of my living room.
i didn't get to see the bedrooms...
with a house that big, she needs 3 maids.
woah.. rite?
but the best part?
faridah's not a bit arrogant.
she's a very nice person albeit all her bling blings that she wears, her branded handbags that she keeps changin, her LV chair that she has in her boutique... hehe.
so anyway, we left wen mum & faridah & her mum had to leave for KL.
cik amir drove us back & faridah's chauffeur drove them to KL to faridah's bro's place to spend the nyte before catchin the flight the next mornin.


mie texted me wen she reached the bro's place.
she said the house is even bigger with a swimming pool!
so i told mie... lucky u! hav fun... if only i was there... i could use the pool. hehe.
so i've come to the conclusion... or actually me & my bro...
some ppl are born rich & they'll die rich & their offsprings will continue to be rich.
some ppl are juz lucky & im happy for them.
for me it's an experience to understand the lifestyle of the rich.


so no more fairytales for now.
mum juz reached madrid ard 4 this mornin, spore time. so it should be 4 in the mornin over there rite now.
well, hav fun mie! dun forget to buy me stuff!! haha...


last paper this thurs.
can't wait for it to end!!