u noe, i never thot things would be as complicated as they would turn out to be.
i thot.. that was it. all i had to think and worry about was that.
& then after gettin some insight & doin some calculations, boy, it's a huge headache.
maybe cos i've not shared it with the darlin bf.
oooh... but the closin date is soon & im not certain.
a decision needs to be made.. & fast!! i guess if i really, badly wan it...


dinner was with mum at secret recipe last nyte at PS since we were in town.
food wasn't great but we needed a place to eat.
so we ate & we talked & we talked somemore.
i love my mum. she's simply great. i can ask her bout anythin & share anythin with her.
thx mum for juz bein you.
i got lots of info from her.. i mean, i really hav no idea wat goes on...
she kinda enlightened me but there's stil lots of indulgence which can be satisfied via online which was done last nyte.


im havin my menses again. twice this month. but it's more than 15 days in between the 2 periods so it's alrite.
except mine has always been regular.
it's never been like this.
maybe that's why it's been affectin my mood lately. the past few days to be exact.
im easily depressed & i get so sad & teary over absolutely nothin.
wen im havin those depression spells, i keep thinkin that im not up for it.
then another part of me wil go like.. no, u can make it work.
i tell u, bein a girl is sometimes juz so farking complicated. even i can't explain myself sometimes.
with all the vocab in the world, sometimes, there's juz nothin that i can use to describe myself which is simply farkingly annoyin.


there's lots of issues to think about but im lookin forward to a short getaway soon...
i think i need it.. even if it's only for the weekend.

last nyte, bf & i caught Nacho Libre. wen i ferz saw the trailer in the movies, i thot... wat a dumb show.
turned out, it's not such a dumb show after all!
but it definitely won't win any award.. that's for sure.
it did provide me with plenty of giggles tho... everytime i sober down, jack black's sidekick of watever-his-name-is has to appear on screen with his comical face & suggestive tones of expression. haha.. like... oooooh. that always brings me back to my bout of giggles.
i can't help it!!
jack black was the only famous actor in the movie tho. the rest of the cast were mexicans.
it's gd for laughs... definitely.


& mum juz confirmed the shoe addiction in me. thx mum!
at least now i noe it's genetic... heh.


i feel like goin for a run but i've to coach nina in her math.
u see, i can't freakin wake up in the mornin so i've to run in the evenin.
i woke up early a few days ago to go for a run but i was dead wen i came home. it was straight to bed at 9 in the mornin after havin had my bath. bleagh.


gonna grab some yoghurt from the fridge. feelin too hot... need sth to cool down.
& im feelin so sleepy already...

heritage & history

:: heritage & history ::


2 big words in the media now. at least in the current malay media.
cos it's bulan bahasa...
why the sudden interest in this topic?? cos mum & i took a cab last nyte to bukit panjang for the wake.
& the cab driver was like a historian cum politician. & he speaks excellent english as in perfect sentence structure & not a single singlish word in use. which i think is excellent for a retired man.
he used to stay at my area when he was young, which was a malay kampong. there was harmony among the chinese & the malays & he cited the stories that happened before.
he was also praising the characteristics of the malays to the sky! sayin we're peace loving ppl, strong relationship ties among relatives, etc. which i seriously doubt so wen u observe the ways of the younger generation. seriously.
he said knowing one's heritage, history & language is very important which is no longer the case for many singaporeans. attitudes hav changed over the years. singaporeans now are selfish & self-centred.
i hav to agree wholeheartedly.


asians are supposed to be soft-spoken when talking to one another, polite, etc...
other qualities that hav been stereotyped or maybe had been practised by our forefathers.
but look at us now. we no longer speak dengan beralas. wat i mean here is not really in flowery terms but one can observe how the europeans treat and talk to one another.
they're everythin we're not. haha. i sound eurocentric but really, juz think bout it.
everytime i speak to them, they'll say gd mornin, how do u do? etc. etc. expressin concern & politeness in conversations before actually conveyin their intentions.
sth that we can pick up for the betterment of ourselves.


oh well, juz sth to ponder about...

juz received a call from mak-ngah that abang yusri's passed away.
before visitin him on sat nyte at NUH, i've effectively seen him twice in my entire life. so that hospital trip made it thrice. the fact that he's my cuz, cos he's ayah-ngah's son, really makes it seem like our relationship is pathetic.
we're related cos our fathers are brothers.
it's funny how i call my uncle ayah-ngah but i dun call my dad ayah. somehow, it juz works that way...
anyway, my cuz was sufferin from cancer. colon cancer, to the stomach & then affectin the liver in a very short span of 1 mth.
he really looks different albeit i've only seen him twice before. he used to be fleshy & bubbly.
that sat nyte, he was shrunken to a skeletal frame with a bloated stomach and legs. really pitiful. he coudn't focus well.. he muz hav been in pain. but he stil remembered me.
the last time we met, he wasn't married & now, his he's married with 4 kids.
imagine how long ago was that...??
but maybe this is better for him. to be rid of the pain & sufferin...
may he rest in peace...
amin.

& so it was mum's birthday yesterday.
dinner was at seoul garden (surprise surprise!) at taka. she decided on the place which was a little surprisin...
she came from work with a gorgeous bouquet of flowers from her colleagues & other random prezzies. so pretty...
the ferz thing she asked me was.. where's haris? why he never join us?
cos i was out with him earlier & i told him to join us for dinner but he didn't wan to.
so bf was missed. hehe. i wish he was there too...


lemme upload pix from mum's cam before i put the pix up. cos not all the pix are in mine.
im super sleepy now... but i haven't had breakfast.
waitin for mum to get ready.
think i'll let my eyes rest for a while...

i decided to make chicken mayo sandwich today.
so i took a trip down to the supermarket which i never realised was soooo big (at least for me).
the last time i made it, bibik bought all the ingredients for me.
today, i decided to do the shoppin myself. it was an experience.
i wanted to start cookin or at least makin sth edible so this was a pretty good start i thot. & the fact that i was cravin for chicken sandwich.
but it's not like i've never been to the supermarket before, u noe.
i usually juz hav company, or accompany someone like my mum...
on my own, findin things seem to be a lil difficult.
rows & rows of stuff.. 2 storeys at that. after a while, my head was spinnin cos i was desperately lookin for a jar of mayonaise.
so i went down to get the wet stuff at the 'pasar' corner.
chicken breast. check. salad. check. cherry tomatoes. yum. check. capsicum. check. yoghurt. double yum. check.
& i was stil goin round & round, this time at the lower level, findin a jar of mayo.
stil can't find it.
went to the upper level again. this time, i walked past the aisle s-l-o-w-l-y so i wouldn't miss it.
& i read the labels on top of the aisle.
seasoning, mayonaise, sauces. aaaah. found it.
i got all my ingredients & scampered home feelin excited.


the moment i opened the door, i headed to the kitchen. i was sooo freakin excited to make my chicken filling lar! i was about to unwrap the chicken wen bibik took it from my hands & washed it & boiled it for me.
hmm... i didn't noe u had to wash the chicken. then she added a tiny bit of salt. i wouldn't hav done that. so i picked up a few tips today.
so i washed the capsicum & started choppin away as best as i could.
which is not a masterpiece. i don't cut well, i noe that.
i don't noe how to handle the knife in the proper way i guess.
maklung came in & said i better start learnin how to cook since im no longer a child.
in my mind, im like.. errr... yar. if i can learn how to cut things ferz!!
so once the chicken is cooked, i shredded it & mixed everythin with a dash of pepper.
even that i had to ask bibik where the pepper was & how it looks like. & whether it was black pepper or white pepper to be used. cos i really dunno wat they're used for.
found out, black is used in cookin, & white is used for seasonin.
tip no 2.
but i stil can't differentiate them apart. so dun ask.


so all's ready to be eaten & it was yummy!! even tho there wasn't much cookin involved.
heh. gimme a break lar. it's my ferz time.
cos the previous time, errrm, i had help too. i can't cut / chop.


before i actually embark on any other cookin expedition, i guess i better learn how to cook rice.
cos i've no idea how. how many parts water & how many parts rice.
i hav absolutely no idea.
but i've to wake up early to learn to cook rice cos by the time i wake up these days, it's lunch & everythin is ready.
& i think i should take an educational trip to the wet mkt cos i've never been there.
i need to go with someone cos i wouldn't noe where to go to get wat.
but i dunno wen bibik is goin.


im feelin all xcited cos tomoro, im plannin to bake macaroni & cheese. yummeh!!
errr... i dunno how tho. i'll be searchin thru cook books tonyte i guess.
oh! but tomoro's mummie's birthday. so bakin.. out. maybe friday then.
oh & my mum can whip up a delicious, double droolicious pan of lasagne. from scratch. yes. i hate those instant ones. they taste like rubber...


i wanna cook my fav dish some day... sliced fish bee hoon.
but that is a task that is waaaay too advance for me.
anythin that involves cookin oil / fryin is a herculean task. i haven't mastered the art of puttin the oil into the pan without feelin afraid the oil would jump & scald me.
so some day... my dream will come true.
i juz hav to keep on believin & tryin...
but as for now, im contented with wat i've achieved.
yes.

there's gonna be a continuation to pirates of the caribbean.. that's wat i can tell u.
cos the movie was incomplete!! aaargh!!
another waitin period of i dunno how many years!! haha...
& cathay has comfy seats. as in THE CATHAY.
but the building is sooo borin. maybe cos it's new & not many shops are opened.
but i do like the huge adidas boutique there...


no one's home & im so bored.
stomach's not feelin too good tho... a lil painful.
i dunno why...


R&J's playin on star movies now... aaah...
i loved this movie wen i watched it at the cinema many yrs back...
okay, i admit im bored. & i dun feel like watchin any of the dvds.
think i've juz mentioned that above. haha...
im waitin for haslina to msg me the time & place to meet.
im waitin for priya to come home from the states. or more accurately waitin for her to call me cos she's supposed to be back yesterday.
but of coz, considerin the jetlag factor...
speakin of which, i wanna go to the states!!
but mum doesn't fancy the place.
but it's a great shoppin place!!! i keep whinin & whinin...
maybe wen i hav the money in a few yrs time i'll go & hav a spree!!
haha.. anyone care to join??


okay, i wanna watch my R&J.
ta!

11th july was supposed to be THE DAY for me...
but it turns out that im gonna be attending the convo nxt year.
no hard feelings, no regrets.. nothin. in fact, it seems like any other normal day for me which i thot i was gonna hav quite a hard time on that day.
i felt so happy wen i viewed pix on wana's blog.
they looked gorgeous!! & different.. hehe.. with pants & blouses.. lookin so career-ish!
not the usual combo that i see them walkin ard in skul...
congrats to the 2006 batch!!


why wil i be attendin the convo nxt yr?
cos i didn't complete my grad requirements. i lacked a level 3000 soci mod.
so i took an ISM mod durin the special term. much thanks to dr gana who's willin to be my supervisor. & much thanks to the NUS admin & vice-dean who're willin to make an xception for me.
i love writin so it was a pretty enjoyable period. =)
so everythin's been put on hold rite now.
my admission to NIE... & stuff.
i view it as a blessin in disguise. cos now, i've more time to rest (or slack actually.. haha) before officially teachin in sept.
cos im sent to skul ferz to teach since they're keepin my place as a permanent officer.
& im stil receivin allowance from my dearest mum. heheh... so all's good.
mum's b-day is comin up tho... i dunno wat to get her!!


sth's comin up & wen i think bout it, i can't help but feel surprised at how much i've grown...
or am i growin up too fast?
i hav to admit im feelin a lil nervous.
but i guess it's normal.


im catchin pirates of the caribbean tonyte.
but im more xcited at the thot of meetin bf. i've missed him.
but it's not like we haven't seen each other in a long while.
i juz met him on monday nyte/tuesday mornin.
like my mum says, ppl in love... ha ha.


& im meetin haslina for dinner tomoro. so xcitin!!
haven't met her in quite a while!
hehe... i love both brother & sister lar! doesn't life sometimes strike u as amusin??
the 2 closest ppl in my life are related by a strong family bond... hehe


im all hyped up for my date later. so toodles!
gotta clean the mess in my room ferz. bleagh!

im so tired these days...
i feel like goin back to sleep a few hrs after i've woken up.
i stil hav yet to clean my room.
keep tellin myself tomoro.. but that tomoro hardly comes.
ironic really cos i hate procrastinatin... maybe that only applies to skul work.


got a new pair of jeans from levi's yesterday. thx mum! tho i really dunno why i bought it.
maybe the impulsion to buy kicked off yesterday.
or maybe it was the price after conversion that lured me into buyin. cos levi's is so much cheaper in jb/msia.


mum's frens from jb comin over tomoro to do some shoppin.
the datin & daughter... no seriously. the aunty or maybe i should call her nenek...hmm... really is a datin... & she also happens to be the mother-in-law of someone famous in msia.
im supposed to join them for the day since im so free. hehe..
not that i really mind... gives me a chance to shop too...


i hav 9 wks to slack. sometimes i wonder if life is ever gonna be this good again...
once i start workin & stuff.
maybe it will.. maybe i juz need to put in the effort to enjoy my life this much. haha..
speakin of which, mum's plannin nxt yr's trip already...
this is sooo fun.
then again i caught her surfing the airline webbie a few days back.
maybe a short trip comin up? not sure.. nothin has been said.
i dun mind the break. seriously.
not that i need one but heck, juz enjoy before i hav no time for myself. heh.


next event for me.. to watch pirates of the caribbean this thurs.
hope it's gonna be good! lately, previous movies watched hav been pretty disappointin...
johnny depp, go ahead & make my day!

yes... i got my crepe last nyte.. im one happy girl..

wanted to get the spaghetti as well but we were too full by then.

bf found the crepe too sweet but i think it's divine...

i guess i juz hav an extremely sweet tooth. haha!

we caught scary movie 4 yesterday cos there was nothin else to watch.

it's such a freakin waste of money!!

& it's a stupid movie as well. soooo not hilarious.

oh well...

yesterday was fun. lookin forward to this sat..

uh huh!

time to update this blog of mine...
yes, im totally cravin for that crepe from marche's rite now.
wil drag the bf down tomoro.. hehe... can't wait!


anyway, we graced bf & his frens' fren's wedding... basically, im a total stranger to the guy who got married. heh. i juz tagged along.
we met at aray's place (the one with long hair, looking chinesey) & he drove us to the place.
i was sittin comfortably at the front seat where 4 guys squeezed at the back!!
it was a noisy affair, no doubt...
all that sweet sucking, sour plum eatin & singing along to the songs played on radio...
it was super hot tho.. i was perspirin profusely & kept wipin my face.
yeah, makeup is wiped off completely. by the end of the ceremony, i was red hot & au naturel...


then it's off to my place to wait for me to change where the guys hogged the tv.
drove off to town to catch 'superman returns' which was ooooo-kaaaaay.... not that very great...
then it's supper at riaz where bf & i left earlier cos he had to work the next day! tsk tsk...


meetin bf tomoro & im excited!
can't seem to slp tho...
time to raid the kitchen!


oh & it's priya's birthday today. even tho she won't be readin this,
Happy Birthday Dearie!
which reminds me... gotta drop her a msg...
a busy girl that one...

we graced bf's fren's weddin last sunday with ijal, aray, don & mat; it was soooo hot.. i was as red as a lobster; gay partners in crime; group photo with the bride & groom 

i am sooo cravin for this rite now...