Have I ever told anyone my deep, dark secret? I love watching High School Musical! And I'm looking forward to catching the premiere of High School Musical 2 tomorrow!

*shrieks*

I know, 23 and still watching a high school show? What can I say? There's a child in everyone of us. I'm such a sucker for these kinds of shows. I've always been attracted by the student life there. Sighz. My nights during primary school were spent reading Sweet Valley books from the twins series, to high school series and finally college series where I never found out the ending to the story as my father disapproved of me reading such novels. I used to read them discreetly as he would wake up like a million times a night to make sure that I was asleep as I was supposed to sleep by bedtime. The cheek of me!

Then I made friends with kids who went to the American School and Overseas Family School, usually the latter. Those were the fun days. That was when I was 13. Then things happened and I lost touch with all of them. Maybe for the better? I don't know. But I gotta admit, I miss that part of life at times.

The novels that I read and the people that I befriended played a huge role in moulding the way I think. Till today, it's very difficult for me to embrace my true culture (whatever it is) due to socialization. Asian values sometimes drive me up the wall. And Malay culture? I am pretty much clueless as my parents are more concerned with religious values.

Anyway...

I'm not sure why but I'm suddenly rethinking the decisions I've made. The more I think about it, the more unsure I become. Oh God, help. I've always prayed for peace within myself and sanity of mind. I'm feeling confused and I feel shitty about it.

I should stop it! What the fuck am I thinking? But somehow, I can't seem to stop thinking about it! I hate feeling confused like this. It's not fair cos it doesn't only involve me.

I think too much thinking is not doing me any good. This is the right time for me to turn in then. And I've got plans tomorrow morning to visit dad. And I never thought that staying home on a Saturday night would be so fulfilling as today cos I'm hardly home on Saturday nights. Hehe. I managed to watch High School Musical for the 15th time I think, complete my last fucking reflection assignment which I only got to know about it yesterday, fucked up, and just getting in touch with myself. Although I'm not too sure if the last point is beneficial to me. Haha.

The night is still young but I'm bidding good night to all. For the first time in many Saturday nights, I'm turning in early...