im not sure why im bloggin now. maybe its becos i've nothin else to do. i didn't do much today. no skul til thursday so im stil bummin ard at home. it's raya haji tomoro & i've to wake up early tomoro to see my kambing. say hello... they look so cute. & no, i dun squirm like how i see some ppl do wen they see their sheep bein slaughtered. last yr was mummie's kambing. this time round it's mine. we take turns. =) think i'll take photos of my kambing. think i'll recognize them durin judgement day? haha... dun think so. they all look the same don't they? they muz be thinkin the same thing bout us humans too. 2 eyes, 1 nose, 1 mouth, 2 ears. how diff can we be to them rite??


was supposed to teach tuition earlier but it was cancelled so ferz lesson wil only start this wednesday. which was a gd thing that it was cancelled. menses came today. & this month, my cramps were bearable. didn't hav to take medication. no vomiting either. this is good. thankful to god.


bf's been posted & today was his ferz day of work. they received their deployment & watnots. & he's on duty tomoro. even tho there's no more bookin in & out of camp, it stil feels the same way to me. i dunno why. been feelin a lil down of late. maybe it's due to the gloomy weather. & i dunno why i felt so sad wen he told me the news. it seems so far. i need a long walk. if only my stomach is not feelin crampy, would hav gone for a walk. wat would feel nicer than a walk in a cool nyte? with the breeze blowin against my face. aaah... & let the breeze carry with it all my thoughts.


thinkin of signin up for membership with the gym. i really feel i should. so that i can work my ass off & hav that toned body i've always dreamed of ever since i lost it after secondary skul. haha... im pretty happy with my body now altho i could do with losin some of the flabs. human nature i guess. never satisfied with wat we hav.


i should be slpin now but i juz can't seem to. im wide awake even tho i didn't take any nap durin the day. okay, okay. i did wake up at 1 in the afnoon. so that explains why i guess. acap juz went out. heard mie's voice & the door slammed. not rudely. he's never home at nyte esp if it's public hol the next day. i guess if i had my own vehicle, i would hav done the same. i'd go for a long drive wen im feelin bored. acap's frenz stay ard this area so that makes it convenient for him to meet them at any time of the day i guess. came home ard 2 on sat nyte & his frenz were at my place. watchin soccer & eatin supper. guys. i wonder if that's all they do. soccer & food. haha...


wen i think about the frenz i made, it makes me sad. where are they now?? everyone's bz with their own lives xcept for me i guess. im stil tied down with skul. even a best fren doesn't noe bout my life's progress. is that wat i call a fren?? i dunno. becos even i hav no idea wats goin on in her life since she's never ard. all i noe is things haven't been goin great.


wen did life stop? where hav all the good times gone to?? were they juz meant to be memories of skul days to make skul more meaningful? why does life suddenly feel so lonely? sometimes i feel that skul really does bring me joy. secondary skul. even jc days didn't bring me such joy. oh well, look at me now. im turnin 22 in a few mths time. i gotta accept this transition of life...




i miss you. & i need you rite now. here, by my side. to juz hold me tight. to make me smile & laugh & forget about all my sorrow. to wipe the tears streamin down my cheeks. & tell me you'll always be there for me.
i juz received a msg from you tellin me u missed me. it's like u could read my mind. it's a comfortin thot... but i stil miss you baby...