Kiasuism??
booked tix for chronicles of narnia for this sat. kiasu? hmmm...maybe. but im juz playin safe cos it's gonna be the eve of xmas. & no. im sooo not goin to town this wkend. hav plans to spend the day at the suburbs - queensway. haha... it's not so bad. rite? catchin the show at tampines tho. not sure if there's actually enuf time to travel. wil worry bout that later. it's not like i wanna get anythin at queensway. so it's no biggie.
mie & nina plannin to watch it tomoro nyte but think i'll give it a miss. most prob meetin bf tomoro nyte anyway. im feelin so xcited over tomoro. i dun noe why!! it's not like i've sth special planned or sth. it's weird i tell u. maybe it's juz thinkin bout meetin him that gets me xcited. =)
u noe how frenster has this 'about me' under its profile settings rite?? was juz thinkin bout that. wat can i really say bout me? at the discretion & privacy of my personal blog of coz. well, for a start, i think i look arrogant. or maybe i am. at times. esp wen i encounter certain types of ppl. i juz hav this look & attitude towards them. but i think im pretty okay wen ppl get to noe me. haha! i dun noe...wat do u guys think??
secondly, i treasure my frenships cos i dun hav many frenz to start off with.
& im hopelessly in love with bf which makes me feel afraid at times. yeah, even tho after 7 yrs, i stil feel that way. i can't xplain why. sometimes my mind runs wild & i'll think of the most ridiculous & depressin stuff. at other times, im all xcited & hyper daydreamin over promises & proclamations. only time wil tell i guess. & it feels like im growin up too fast. 1 more sem to go & that's the end of skul life for me. time really does fly. i wanna continue with my studies & earn myself a masters & PhD but im not sure if time & circumstances wil actually permit me to do so. i've a responsibility towards my family, bf & my heart. it's not as easy as it seems to juz pack up & go. mum wil be okay with that so that's pretty settled. but im not sure if i can leave everythin else behind for a few yrs. im not confident of that even tho a part of me yearns to leave & explore new sights & sounds. another part of me however, is not willin to do so unless HE accompanies. emotions play a big role. 1-2 yrs may not seem like such a short time if loneliness surrounds me. unless i do it here, in spore. but it's so BORING. then there's the family talk. can i pursue my studies if im tied down with a family?? i dun noe... it's juz that i feel it's better to pursue my dreams before i tie the knot. but can he wait?? i can't answer for that. & im not too sure if i can wait that long either since it's gonna take quite a no. of yrs to further my studies after a few yrs of work xperience & then carve out a career. & finally earn a comfortable wage to start a family. there's a rumble of emotions goin thru me rite now but i can't explain it in words.
to a certain fren of mine, i understand it must be tuff goin thru wat u did. & i wish there's sth that i can do. but i can only lend u a listenin ear & pray that everythin wil turn out fine at the end. but u've gotta learn to let go & embrace this life & all that it's gotta offer u with open arms. i hope u find wat ure searchin for... it's all a matter of time. i love u *hugz* & there's no other way that i can xpress myself apart from those 3 cliched words.
lookin forward to tomoro. juz not sure if i can slp tonyte. these days i can never turn in early...
I love you Ayang. even more than i did 7 yrs ago. & i pray i'll always feel the same bout u... & pray that u love me too.
gd nyte everyone.
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