im totally feelin like crap tonyte.i dun even noe wat to feel.
i dun noe if i can even believe in myself.
feels like runnin...runnin away from life,from everythin.
why does life feel like dis?
is there anyone i can talk to?nope.i dun tink so.cos i dun even noe wat to tell.nothin to say without me feelin such a huge & heavy ache in my heart dat it stops me from speakin.
maybe i shld juz farkin run away from dis ctry.
leave everythin dat i once knew behind...
is dat possible?yes it is.but it wouldn't change things.
i feel like i shld forget everythin familiar.
shld juz be an alien,start off fresh & ignorant juz like a new-born baby.
well,guess wat?juz by rantin like dis,it's startin to load things off my mind and chest.i juz feel like screamin & runnin...til i tire myself out so i wouldn't think.too tired to even hear myself think.
i pray.i pray to God everyday to help me along with life.i dun even noe y im feelin like dis only now.shucks...wat the fark is happenin.
cryin is a way out of dis confusion.cried til my well is dry...
but i stil feel like cryin.if only i could turn back time.to the times where i was free...from everythin.whenever dat period may be.
i juz wanna be in a state of balance.balance of mind,body & soul.
but it doesn't seem dat i'll get dat anytime soon.
now i feel like cryin again.fark.i hate cryin.
is dis wat life is about den?torturous...den im better off dead.i shld juz smoke myself to death.
i dun blame anyone.nope.i juz can't seem to get a hold of myself,my feelins...why?why?why?
i can feel the surge of waterfall threatenin to stream out again.why am i feelin so miserable?i wish there was a way out.i pray for happiness.happiness for everyone i noe.& i hope,others out there are not feelin wat im feelin now.
i juz wanna be happy.
i shld do some soul searchin.goin away would be great...growin up is tuff