stop.wait.watch

2010-01-11T18:06:00.001+08:00

I spreed (if there's such a word), on Saturday, buying something from every shop that I popped into. I sent the car for servicing and headed to Tampines to kill time.
I popped into Tampines 1, coming out of it with shopping bags from Outfitter Girls, Dorothy Perkins, Esprit and Uniqlo. Then it was off to Mango at Tampines Mall with 2 pairs of pants of the same cut but in different colours.
I was upset since the night before and spending money seemed to take the pain away.
For a little while.

I'm feeling better now.
I'm looking forward to our date tomorrow night. =)

I'm gonna miss you tonight baby...

Now I'm trying my best to push thoughts of Papillon and Palermo away.
Help.

2010-01-08T16:29:00.001+08:00

The 1st week of 2010 is almost over.
Earlier this week, I lamented about how slow time was passing.
But before I knew it, Friday's here! Wow!
And I have so many things to complete over the weekends!
Lesson plans, digirecord, enrichment presentation... Now, I'm stressed.
Okay, let me enjoy my Friday afternoon, then maybe start on something at night.

I'm already thinking of Week 2 and getting depressed that Monday's coming when it's just the start of the weekends.
Can you believe that?
The brain is once again moving ahead much faster than time.

Need to focus: It's Friday! Be happy!

2009-12-22T21:52:00.002+08:00

I'm back from Kuching but I'm too lazy to upload the photos.
There are 3 cameras to upload the photos from.
Sighz. That needs tons of patience and perserverence.
I certainly missed the hubby tons when I was there.

I've been feeling troubled since yesterday.
I guess it got triggered off by the call. And I'm right, the dreaded day is tomorrow.
I just want it to be over and done with since everyone has to go through it.
And the other reason why I've been feeling troubled has been put to rest.
So I'm feeling better tonight, but I still dread tomorrow.
And which part of morning does he not understand??
Does 12 p.m. sound like morning to anyone?
Oh well, he's the boss.

Now, I'm simply looking forward to hubby coming home so that I can have some chill out time with him...

2009-12-15T08:15:00.002+08:00

I was viewing Ishaq's Phuket photos and they make me wish I could go back there this instant!
Love that place.
I got burnt but that's the least of my worries.
Shopping was cheap, the place was beautiful but we didn't have enough time to really explore the other parts of phuket and go island hopping.
Simply because we only had a 3-day vacation. It was the Deepavali long weekend and I had school the very next day.
That sucked.
Maybe next time we'll go for a 1 week vacaion to Phuket.
Anywhere with hubby is fine actually. =)

I'm hitting the bed again...
I'm getting sleepy.
Maybe I'll dream of Phuket. =)

2009-12-14T18:47:00.000+08:00

It's been a great week so far.
I'm thankful for the outcome of things. Alhamdulillah.
I love my hubby.

I've had great makan sessions.
In fact, that's all I've been doing over the holidays.
Shop and eat.
Oh... the shopping. I don't wanna open my bills for next month.
But I've gotten items that make me trigger happy! =)
For one, I've gotten that trilogy pendant which I've been eyeing for quite a while.
Didn't get myself a bag this time round... and that's good!
So far, I don't think I need another bag. I've been pushing thoughts of bags aside. Heh.

I came across this article that talks about women's spending nature on how we spend so much on bags. It would be good if we could actually save that amount of money and make it grow instead of putting that money into buying a bag.
I agree with the article but sometimes, in fact, most of the times, it's difficult for me to do so!
The desire to purchase that bag to make me happy is simply overpowering.
I understand the importance of saving, it's not that I don't save, but I can save MORE if I stop purchasing unnecessarily.
Maybe this will be my 2010's resolution.
Save.
I can make it happen only if I want it to.

Here's to more great times during the December holidays!

2009-12-10T10:25:00.001+08:00

I finally found peace.

2009-11-26T11:23:00.000+08:00

I've been clearing my desk since I stepped in at 9 this morning.
I've 2 huge trash bags seated by my trash can now.
That's how much junk I've accumulated in 1 year.
What am I going to do for the rest of the day now that I've cleared my department work stuff?
Well, it's not that I've nothing to do... I still have to complete my appraisal form but I'm not in the mood to think about what to write on that form. I'm 3/4 done but have yet to refine.
Just not in the mood.

I chilled with the bro at Starbucks last night.
Staying at home was too depressing.
It felt good to take my mind off things.
We talked, we laughed... But it didn't help in making my heart feel at ease.
There's too much tension between us.
I can sense it even though the anger/frustration has appeased.
I should give him time and space, I know. Which is why dragging myself to work every morning is a good thing although God knows exactly how I feel.
How can I get work done if my whole well-being is affected? Shattering to be exact.
Feeling better today.
Good to get out of home.
But that doesn't mean I brought my heart along with me.
Physical presence but psychological absence.
I'm trying my best. God knows I put my 110% into it.
I'm letting it go, I'm building back the trust that was lost.
I put all my zest and energy into making it work.
I can only pray for the best.

Please don't hurt me... again.

2009-11-19T13:12:00.001+08:00

I'm officially in a madhouse.
1 more day till I can have a tiny bit of respite from all things important.
As usual, I got irritated with that man.
If it's going to be another waste of time today, I'm just going to walk out.
I don't give a damn anymore.
He wasted 2 hours of our time some time back; it wasn't productive at all.
It became a nagging session. And he had the cheek to msg us yesterday telling us to be prepared to stay behind later than 5 for his nonsense. If you had done something productive a few weeks ago, then we wouldn't have to stay so late today. What an ass!
Sometimes, I can't wait to say Good Riddance!
A few people are leaving by end of this year, be it transfer or resignation. Either way, I envy them.

I fell in love with a few things over the past weekend.
Should I get another bag or should I get that diamond?
I fell in love with this pendant.
And I also like the emerald cut earrings and ring.
I wish I could get them all at the same time but that's just crazy.
There is an exchange programme, so I can probably trade-in my earrings for a new pair.
I think I'll pop by the shop again this Saturday.
The Fendi bag was nice too. Roman calf leather in baby pink. Handmade.
Decisions, decisions.
Or should I just save the money?
Sometimes I have this need to just pamper and reward myself for getting through the year.
Looking forward to purchasing an item also makes me work hard towards getting to that time frame, instead of just slogging through the days.
They could be just excuses but it works to keep me sane.
And that's important.
But so is saving.

Time to do my finances...

2009-11-16T11:36:00.000+08:00

With each event taken place, the stress level drops substantially.
I've got one last event before I can finally scream.... FREEDOM!
At least from the organisation of the events.
First we had the Science Fair, then it was the Option Form, followed by the Carnival which just took place last Saturday. That was such a relief. And last event that is taking up all my time and energy for the last few weeks is going to take place this Friday. I've been reviewing, printing, re-reviewing and re-printing the lists.
It's really driving my crazy.
And just a few seconds ago, they came to me with another update i.e. change.
Aaaarrrrgh.... irritating!

I'm throwing away unhappy thoughts, moving on to happy ones instead.
I met Hazwani last Thursday night!
It was a good thrashing out session, albeit a short one.
We cried our eyes out and we hope to meet up again soon.
Enjoy your maternity leave dear. This is the worst part of the year!

The brother came home last night. Landed around almost 10.
We waited for him at a corner and refused to greet him at the entrance.
Should have seen his face!
He looked so crestfallen thinking no one came to fetch him.
Dinner was good.
And I woke up so damn sleepy this morning cos we got in pretty late last night.
Mum, hubby and sis were down too.

Now, I need to get all my things done and I can't wait to go off!

I love you...

2009-11-05T13:29:00.000+08:00

1 item is down on my to-do list.
I'm halfway through my appraisal form.
I'll complete (hopefully) the 3rd item tomorrow.
These days, I'm taking things 1 day at a time.

Which reminds me, there's a meeting at 2 later.
Damn!

2009-11-04T11:23:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling a lot better now. In fact, the best feeing in the past few weeks.
I pray that this feeling is here to stay.
God has shown me that with continous prayers and faith, wishes do get granted.

I dread today. There's that long session later, which in my opinion, is quite redundant.
At least for those people under my charge.
They're neither here nor there for most of them.

Take a deep breath, and smile.
I need to stay happy to get through today...

Aaaaaaarrrrrrrggggghhhhhh!

2009-11-02T08:50:00.001+08:00

Why am I still feeling this way?
The palpitations, the anxiety... it's causing too much stress to my body and my heart.
God... please help me relief all this pain.
Please grant me the assurance, the peace of mind and heart.

I feel like crying again.
I feel like such a wreck.
I can't control these emotions and I don't know what to do with myself.

Help.

2009-10-30T13:25:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling so fucked up.
Things are going from bad to worse.

2009-10-28T11:37:00.003+08:00

I'm a racist.
Given a choice, I'll scrap that fucking race off my identification card.
Some things done make me hate them more than ever now.
Stupid MATS (and MINAHS). You guys deserve to be shot.
No.
Make that tortured then shot.
Brainless and useless, what a perfect combination.
What an embarrassing race to be classified under!

Stupid doesn't even describe them.
They're vile, worthless, useless, brainless... Oh I can just go on and on and on.
Basically, they're trash.
Waste of space.
You're not worth my time but the sight and sounds of you just rile me.
FUCK OFF.

2009-10-28T08:15:00.000+08:00

I'm excited to meet my dear friend, Hazwani, later. Wish she could have brought her baby but I guess, that wouldn't be a good idea.
I guess I need that psychological break that I haven't had in a long time.

I'm waiting for the boring duty of the day to start.
Invigilation.
Aaaargh. It's worse than a normal day. Much worse.
Usually, I'll be so bored, tears will come to my eyes and start streaming down my face.
It's that bad.

I wanna be happy. But some things are hindering me from feeling that way.
Grant me the strength, faith and trust to carry on in life God.
Please relief me of all this pain...

2009-10-25T12:41:00.002+08:00

There're so many things bottled up inside. But I can't seem to release them.
I wish there was some way to. But I can't.
I feel drowned in this sorrow.
The heart feels heavy all the time. I can't bring myself to smile anymore.

Only the tears streaming down my face reveals all the secrets.

2009-10-16T13:07:00.002+08:00

It's my first time eating topshell.
A colleague made it and placed it in the fridge.
It was yummy but very spicy. Now, my stomach is burning and growling.
That was about 2 hours ago.
Now, I feel like having somemore!
Maybe I should go buy this topshell from the supermarket and make it myself.
Apparently, it's easy to make.
Famous to boot.
Except I've never heard about it or seen it or eaten it before till today.

I want to go off.
Aaaaarrrrgh.

2009-10-16T10:42:00.000+08:00

There's a meeting today after school. Damn.
Was planning to leave early to go buy my stuff for the trip.
Many things that are taking place don't make sense to me.
In fact, I doubt they make sense to many. But people just swallow and get the job done.

I'm feeling the lethargy now.
2 more classes before I'm done for the day.
Had fun with the hubby last night... It was sad it had to end since I have school today.
My plans went according to plan!
*beamz*

Gonna shut my eyes for a bit before going to class.

Drinks with friends tonight... =)

2009-10-15T08:46:00.002+08:00

It's hubby's birthday!
Surprised him with a card at midnight last night. =)

Happy Birthday hubby... I pray that all your wishes come true.
May God grant you strength and good health.
I love you baby.

I'm excited over dinner plans and the fact that he doesn't know what I'm buying for him!
He looked so cute last night, with that look on his face... asking me what the gift would be.
Well, if I told him, then it wouldn't be a surprise now, would it?
Can't wait for school to end!
After I mark the test papers of course.
A Maths test has to be administered later... last 3 periods.

Then 1 more day before we fly off!
A getaway... something that I feel we seriously need.
Away from everyone and everything.
Here's to tranquility and fun!
*winkz*

2009-10-13T13:26:00.002+08:00

I'm leaving promptly at 1.30 p.m. I'm tired of marking at every spare time I have.
Need to go for my mani and pedi as well as to look for hubby's birthday card.
I've his gift planned in mind but not bought since he needs to be there for sizing.
The idea struck me yesterday.
I'm excited his birthday is nearing.

My nails are so long, it's becoming difficult for me to type.
Should take a pic of my nails and post it. Haven't cut my nails in weeks.

Okay, it's 1.30 p.m.
Gotta go!

2009-10-01T19:45:00.002+08:00

I walked past a man this afternoon. He was thin and there was something about him that touched my heart.
He was looking at bags sold on carts.
For a moment, it embarrassed me for carrying an expensive bag.
My wedding bag is my daily staple when I'm out. And it's cheaper than most bags I have.
Looking at him all bent over looking at those bags really touched my heart.
I buy the bags that I have because I like them. If I were to sum all the prices of the bags, it'd cost me over 10K. That's how much I can save if I didn't purchase them.
But the bags make me happy.
And that's what's important to me.
But that man reminded me of all the times that my brother would complain every time I buy a new bag.
And I will retaliate, saying that I paid for it, and not asked anyone to pay it for me.
He used to say, Why buy such an expensive item when so many people out there are homeless and hungry? Today, it hit me hard.

I'm turning human.

Will I buy another expensive bag? Today, it killed the bag-lover in me.

2009-10-01T14:12:00.003+08:00

I'm done with both confirmation of lodgings and remarks!
Well, almost for the latter, save for 3 souls. I really don't know what to say about them.
You can only imagine the type of character they are.
Will take a break now after seated here for almost 3 hours.
Maybe, I'll get inspiration after my break.
Heh.

2009-09-30T21:41:00.000+08:00

I've been feeling dizzy of late. Not sure if it's because of the haze.
It has worsened the past few days.
It doesn't help that I feel lethargic all the time too.

With the tremors of the earthquake at Sumatra felt here in Singapore, it left me with a spinning headache that has not gone away!
And that was around 6+ when I was on the road.
For a while, I thought, why is the car swaying right and left?
CNA kept us updated.

It's Children's Day tomorrow i.e. holiday!
Happy Children's Day to all! There's a child in every one of us.
I've 2 things lined up for tomorrow: Remarks and confirmation of lodging.
We're planning a short trip in 2 weeks and I'm looking forward to the getaway.

Have a Break. Have a Kit Kat.
Sums up all that I feel.
Early respite tonight.

2009-09-26T00:14:00.001+08:00

Wow... this has been one crazy week. Make it weeks.
When was the last time I updated my entries? I can't remember.

Eid fell on 20th September 2009. Dad's birthday. He would have been 54.
Bro's birthday is coming up this Sunday. Must remember to message him at 12 a.m. Aussie time.
Oh, and happy Eid to all Muslims.

I brought so many things home today.
2 stacks of marking and my school lappie.
But with the day planned for tomorrow and Sunday, I don't see how I can get my work done.
Not that I mind very much since it's the weekends anyway, why on Earth am I bringing work back?! But I've not done my remarks for the end of year report. Shucks.
That will take me a few hours and tonight is just not the night to crack my brains to think of something to write for each person.
Why? Cos I'm stress-ed.
Got a call earlier telling me that some things have not been done so I've been doing them after the guests left and I'll have to make a trip to school tomorrow morning to obtain my data to be keyed in.
Till I get that done, my mind and heart will not feel at ease.

Marking and remarks will just have to wait.
Pray that I can squeeze in a teeny bit of time to get those done.
Oh! I've not bought the gifts!
Shucks.
Okay, Sunday.
Someone please remind me...

It's time to seek solace in prayer.

2009-09-11T12:09:00.002+08:00

It's funny that I don't find her cute like how everyone has been commenting.
There's nothing special about her.
Nothing for me to fawn over.
I've only met her thrice and she's almost 2 now.
To me, she's just another kid.
As long as you don't cry, you can make your existence known to me.
Else I'll taunt you till you get scared to even make a peep. So scram kid.
The last I met her, she was crying her lungs out.
I had to muster all the patience I can manage within me to prevent myself from lashing out at her.
Thank goodness we're not related.

Time passes by so damn fast when it's the holidays.
It's Friday... already!
How sad is that?
I spent my Monday in school, Tuesday in bed, Wednesday running errands with the hubby and yesterday, at JB.
Today, I'm just chilling.
Can the holidays be longer?
We're sort of planning a short getaway-cum-birthday-celebration next month.
That's keeping me excited!

I love... You.

2009-09-10T21:41:00.002+08:00

It's amazing how some people add you as a friend over Facebook.
I never did quite like her. She was too minah-ish.
But of course, at that age, I never knew the word "minah".
In fact, I never mixed around well with the Malay girls. Make it us, instead of just me.
Frinn and I never mixed around well with the Malay girls.
Then, some time back, I got a friend request from someone, whom I seriously didn't know who.
Cos I don't remember her name being as such.
Anyway, I accepted it cos I saw a few friends as mutual friends.
Viewed her pictures and I have to say, the perception doesn't change. Although one wouldn't really term her as "minah", she still portrays the same image that she did many years back.
Some things just don't change I guess.

And a few people on Facebook are driving me up the wall with their posts.
Some have got endless energy for the upcoming Eid.
I could be the only person in the entire world who has an issue with this cos I just don't see what the excitement is all about.
It's too troublesome, in my opinion.
Too many people to visit, too many obligations to fulfil.
I'm not much of a people-person. Maybe that's why I prefer to spend time alone, shop alone, ... unless it's with Mum, Nina, Acap or hubby.
Tags like " Mintak2 next week bleh jln2 kat Geylang... Nak beli baju Raya, kasut Raya, tempat kuih Raya dan semuanya yg sewaktu dgn Raya.. Must prepare list kuikuikui! " simply drives me up the wall!
Seriously, if that was said in front of me right now, I'll slap her so hard, she'll never forget it. It's irritating! It's so typical! Aaaargh!

Some people have got no idea what it means to celebrate Eid.
You rejoice when it's Ramadhan cos this is the time to pray and read the Quran with multiple rewards granted, and Eid is secondary, albeit a celebration to celebrate the victory of overcoming hunger and evil deeds during the month of Ramadhan.
Typical people just get excited over the clothes and the food and whatnots.
Ignorant fools.

I'm going to go perform my prayers to curb the frustration before I end up insulting others.

2009-09-08T11:35:00.002+08:00

The sun is shining gloriously, all bright and sunny outside my window.
But I'm freezing my ass off in my room.
Cos the hubby just got home this morning and he's asleep so the air-conditioner's still switched on.
With a temperature, anything less than 30 degree Celsius is freezing cold.
My hands are clammy and I have a pair of socks on.

I like to watch the hubby asleep. He's all over the bed, sleeping like a baby.
And believe it or not, sometimes, I wake up in the middle of the night, woken up by his deep-throated snores and I end up listening to him and enjoying the sounds.
It provides me with a kind of tranquility that I don't get during the day.

My head feels heavy.
I should go rest now.

2009-09-07T21:41:00.002+08:00

The last I remembered, I was sick during the holidays too.
Today, I'm down with fever, cough... the works. The throat feels like it's laid with gravel.
I wanna enjoy my holidays! Albeit 1 week...
Better than nothing right?
1 more term...
It's finally here.
The perks of the job? A friend once mentioned, you work your ass off for 10 weeks before you get a break.
So there's effectively 4 cycles in a year.
I plan to stay healthy for the rest of this week so I can actually enjoy my break.

As much as I'm complaining and ranting about my job, it's not that I hate it.
I realise that it's a favourite pastime for people who share the same profession.
We are never, I repeat, never contented.
It's gotta be the system.
No matter where you go, it's the system that gets onto you.
Like my brother says, same shit different day. Only this time, it's same shit, different name.
He has so aptly put it in so many different issues.

Oh and can you believe that both my phone and my only pair of glasses are konked out?!
First, I can't hear through the earpiece on the phone. It's dead silent.
I can only use the speaker to have a conversation with anyone.
So the whole world can hear us.
That was yesterday.
Today, my glasses broke.
I took it off my face to take my ablution, and it broke.
And my last pair of contact lenses have just expired on me.
Will need to get both the phone repaired and the glasses replaced asap!

What a day!

2009-09-06T12:09:00.002+08:00

Ripped apart.

2009-09-04T21:14:00.000+08:00

I heeded the hubby's advice and decided to start on something related to work.
Just to get a head start so that I won't have so many things to do tomorrow.
So I did.
And I checked my e-mail.
Big mistake.
It spoilt whatever mood that I have.
Schedule for Monday's and Tuesday's meeting is out.
Fucked up.
Sometimes I wonder whether I'm in a business organisation.

Alright, there's tons to do.
Gotta continue.

2009-09-02T17:40:00.000+08:00

Perseverance.
It's the best school value that I've learnt so far.
I'm persevering till this Friday.
2 more days to go!

Anyway, I received more gifts today.
The cards in the mailbox touched my heart.
I have one that goes... " Even though you're always angry with me for not doing my work, I know that you did that out of love."
So true.
Then I wonder, why is it that you do what you do?!

Then the gifts start getting "exotic".
I have an eyelash curler from a brand that I've used before so I know how much that costs.
I have other things which I won't reveal here.
And this is the 2nd time that they shock me with their culinary skills.
Man, they're good at baking.
Their cupcakes and cookies are good! I know it's them who baked those cookies and cakes cos of the way it looks. Haha.
It came from the heart. That's what melts me.

Thank you for enlightening me with your gifts from the heart.
For making me think twice about leaving.
For all the fun we had and still having.
For making me forget that I have a sucky boss. Momentarily.
Thank you.

2009-08-30T21:40:00.003+08:00

2 more days and I'm done with the jamu.
I've been taking it for about 2 weeks now.
Since Ramadhan's started, my body's been a little heaty cos I can't drink water during the day.
And it's been 3 weeks since I last drank a glass of cold drink.
In my fourth week now, praying that all goes well.

Have been feeling real lethargic the past week.
Hoping that this week will feel better.

It's THE Night tomorrow.
I'm soooooo not excited.
I'd rather be eating at home.

2009-08-30T01:56:00.002+08:00

Thank God for a pair of beautiful parents, for the thick, straight hair.
I saw a picture and I'm contemplating whether I should cut my hair that short. Yeah, I just cut my hair again a few weeks ago; it's sweeping my shoulders.
The picture I saw featured the model with hair just touching her chin.
I never had much hassle with my hair... It's wash, comb with a wide-toothed comb and I'm out of the house.
The wind will just dry my hair naturally.
I really thank God for the thick, smooth and straight hair that I have, thanks to my parents.
If I were to cut it according to the picture I saw, it may involve a lil bit of styling and blowdrying before I leave the house.
Question is... Will I have the time to do that?
Or better still... Can I actually be bothered to do that? Haha...
I'll have to ponder and talk to my hairdresser about this.

I'm thinking of shopping tomorrow.
But I just printed out the exam paper which I've yet to vet...
Maybe I can just shop for a lil bit...
Heh.

2009-08-29T18:51:00.002+08:00

I'm touched by a colleague's gesture. She passed me a book.
One of those self-help books.
I can actually relate to the contents of the book.
And I'm surprised to read that what I'm feeling is generally felt by people in the same boat.
I doubt I'll actually carry out what has been shared in the book but it's good to know that these things take time.
Everyone around you moves on faster than you do.
Except you.

Anyway, Haz has given birth to her baby girl and we visited her yesterday.
That is one daddy's girl.
She looks just like her daddy!
Great to know that both mummy and baby are fine.
=)

Soon...

2009-08-24T20:23:00.003+08:00

The warnings have been right! I bumped into the big boss today and he doesn't know a thing!
Then what the hell was that all about? She said she was going to inform him but... nothing!
Oh well.. that teaches me that everything that I tell her needs to be in black and white.
Someone told me that last week.
It's a good thing it's nothing major.
I'll just text him the next time I need to say anything instead of trusting her when she said she would relay the message.

It feels like someone has been beating my back these few days.
It's so painful and stiff!
And no amount of sleep suffices.

Help!

2009-08-23T17:01:00.002+08:00

I'm tempted to sleep but I won't.
Cos I plan to sleep early tonight.
Will perform my prayer after I'm done with this and read the Quran.
Hope this year's Ramadhan will be better than the last.

Amin.

2009-08-21T12:48:00.003+08:00

It's disappointing, it's sad... but I don't know how to express myself to be understood.
It feels like I'm being pushed further into the peripheral.
I don't feel appreciated anymore.

2009-08-20T14:16:00.000+08:00

Everyone 'applauded' the boss' 'meticulous planning' of our training.
When everyone else is allowed to leave at 1.30 p.m. these 2 days, we have to attend a workshop held here till 5 p.m. or God knows what time.
How impressive! No wonder he's so well-liked.
Give us a break.. please!
This week has been tiring, draining and a back-aching one.
Or maybe I'm the only feeling that way? But by the look of it, I think all of us feel the same way.

With a spinning head and an aching back, will I give a fuck about what's going on later?
No.
Just fuck off and let me go home and sleep.

2009-08-14T11:07:00.002+08:00

My tum-tum is feeling so much better today.
=)

Now, who can I e-mail to enquire about my bond?

2009-08-13T15:42:00.002+08:00

I'm feeling tons better now after the traditional massage earlier today.
At least now I know what's wrong with me.
I need to keep warm.
But how to do that when I'm constantly perspiring in this sweltering heat?
The only 'warm' clothing that I have on me is my pair of socks.

Hubby finds the look hilarious.
Picture this: t-shirt, hotpants and socks.
He thinks I'm off to play soccer!

Sheesh.

2009-08-13T09:09:00.000+08:00

I'm thankful for a wonderful hubby.

2009-08-12T09:30:00.000+08:00

Pretty pretty - THE Fendi Peekaboo

2009-08-12T08:40:00.001+08:00

I'm determined to have a better time.
Not great, just better.

Update: This morning seems better already. Pay's in!

2009-08-11T21:24:00.001+08:00

When will it stop?

2009-08-11T12:43:00.000+08:00

The trip to Thomson today made me feel better.
Guess it's that little bit of dolling up, finding for clothes to wear,... that makes life seem worthwhile once again.
But of course, I wasn't allowed to drive.
It was cab galore. The trip home was driven by a rude Chinese cab driver who thinks I'm "just another" Malay girl.
Since Maklong accompanied me throughout the trips, obviously I was speaking in Malay.
The moment I dropped her off at her place, I was so rude to the cab driver that he cowered in intimidation.
You do not want to piss me off, you stupid man.
So what if you pick up Malay speaking passengers? So what if my aunt can't really speak English? The important thing is we paid for your service and your duty is to at least show an obliging face and speak with a decent tone.
Stupid man. I wish I could have slapped his face.
That would probably have woken him up. I think he's too comfortable seating in his automatic driven cab with more comfortable leather seats than the other cabs.
The slap would probably make him drive better as well.
I can't stand rude and aggressive drivers any more than I can stand his stinking attitude.

This feels good.
To trash it all out.
I've not felt such emotions in the longest time although I think it's only been less than a week.

Oh well...

2009-08-10T23:20:00.001+08:00

I never told anyone but it felt the same way it did when he left.
Funny isn't it? When I never even knew it yet it hurts that much.
I'm fine except when I'm praying. Sometimes.
The tears stream down before I can actually think.
It's heart over mind.
I'll move on in life...

I just wonder when.

2009-08-10T11:01:00.000+08:00

Before I get knocked out again by the medication, I thought I'd check my mails and stuff. To keep the depression away.
Last night was emotionally tiring.

Anyway, the surfing around brought me to Fendi website.
I quite like the peekaboo bags. They're new in the market.
So it's something for me to look at when I am finally allowed to go out.
And if I like it enough, maybe I'll grab one.
I need to get myself absorbed in activities that engages my heart, soul and mind.
Looking at a new bag may be just what I need.

If I can bring myself to get out of the house...

2009-08-09T21:56:00.003+08:00

This feels quite frustrating. I'm not allowed to go out for whatever reason.
And I have to consume so many things.

When will this be over?
Sleep is the only solace.

Update: I'm shutting down. I lack the drive and the mood.

2009-08-07T19:59:00.002+08:00

I've accepted it, have accepted it from the time I got to know about it.
I was just afraid of the procedure.
But it's done and I feel okay.
Goodbye.

I love my hubby.

2009-08-03T21:31:00.003+08:00

We talked about it and it got my hopes up. I really hope it does come true in the near future.

I've never felt as tired as this before. My back hurts after a day at work. It becomes so stiff that bending is a burden! I'll bring this up at my medical appointment tomorrow.

So far, I don't have the 'mood' to do anything related to work. I just wanna go home as early as possible. Plus the fact that I'm so tired by the time the bell rings at 10 a.m doesn't make matters easier.

Time for me to retire for the night...

2009-07-24T20:21:00.000+08:00

I recall snapping at someone for calling me "Sis".
Somehow, I hate that word.
Unless we're from the same mom or dad, I don't see why you have to go around calling everyone Sis just because we share the same religion.
Why this sudden recollection?
I bloghopped to someone's blog that I've not visited in a long time and I read one of the comments.
Just a random thought.

Actually, truth be told, I'm procrastinating. On top of that, I'm in denial.
I've not done my lesson plans for next week.
And soon, it's back to work. Shucks.
For a while, it felt great to be a "taitai".
Hur.
Such dreams.

Well, it's Friday night and I'm positive everyone's got somewhere to go, something to do. Except for moi.
It's actually a good thing.
Cos if I were actually out tonight, I dunno what I'd be pigging out on.
As it is, chocolates, nougats, nuts, apples, cherries and peaches are within reach.
I've been munching on them the whole day!

Gotta chill...
The stomach I mean.

2009-07-23T20:18:00.002+08:00

He made such a racket over Skype that I had to finally create a Facebook account. He was whining about how long I've actually pushed aside that task and now that I finally have time on my hands, I'm not doing anything about it. He refused to allow me to sleep until I created one. He kept bugging that he couldn't find me and wouldn't leave me alone till he actually found me!
I doubt I'll be active in it, just like how inactive I was in Friendster.
I just don't have the time!
Anyway, I put up 2 pix cos they were in my phone and I just bluetoothed them over but he has put in so many photos of me. So, he's doing all the work.
Haha...

I'm full but I'm salivating thinking of a plate of mee rebus.
Sighz.

I still have that test to create.
Finally done with the exam one.

Not in the best of moods.
Fuck.

2009-07-23T09:54:00.003+08:00

I'm disgusted! Read the papers this morning. Prime news... boring. As usual.
Home news disgusted me.
If you know your religious obligations, why do you even do it? And the (useless) husband has the audacity to comment that he should be the one reprimanding the wife and taking her in hand. Hello, if you had done that in the first place, is there a need for a court decision to be made? And obviously his foundation knowledge is screwed up too.
Seriously.
All I can say is... What the fuck people?
I'm not implying I'm pious, but since you got caught, just fucking admit it and go through all the shit and fucking shut up about it. Don't put up a martyr act when you know you're screwed up in your knowledge too. Now the whole world knows and you're fucking shamed to the point of humiliating your family.
Stupid!

And there's this article on subconscious racial remark made by the brain. Doesn't it sound silly? How can it be "subconscious" racial remark triggered off by a certain part of the brain? Seriously, humans are like sponges. If you're racist, or more precisely, ethnicist, it's because you learnt to be one! Your parents and family are most probably racists too! You grew up thinking racist thoughts. You're not borne a racist, that's for sure. You learn. You soak it all up. Freaks. How can it be "subconsciously" triggered off by the brain?
Sociology people. We're talking sociology here. Go and fucking do a module on race and ethnicity.

I'm all riled up! Which is not doing me any good.
Cos I'm hungry. Hungrier when I'm riled.
At least I'm done with the exam questions.
I'm still left with that test. Will do it by today.
Yes, yes, yes.
Then I need to source for shoes.

Again.

2009-07-20T20:19:00.004+08:00

Happy Birthday Mum!
I pray for your good health and prosperity...
Amin.

And these are for you Haz! Hope these make your day!
As requested...

It's still in its wrapper!

=)

Update: Think I've to start buying now. They don't come cheap. I'm a fussy dresser.

2009-07-19T17:08:00.002+08:00

Hubby's sweet. He satisfied my craving for jam sandwich cookies from Marks and Spencer today.
I ate the whole pack.
Ooops!

I'm drifting in and out of sleep. It feels like I've not woken up yet.
I'm bored but I don't know where to go.
I'm thinking of dinner with hubby.
So much for wanting to wash his bike. He's fast asleep now after coming back from the wedding reception.
I'm yawning my day away and with such gloomy weather, I can't bring myself to do much.
I told myself, I'll do all that tomorrow. We'll see...

I'm surfing around for information but couldn't quite get what I'm searching for.
The websites haven't been of much help.
Guess I'll still have to consult the school's admin staff.

I've been surfing around. They look so frumpy.
Help!

2009-07-17T22:52:00.000+08:00

I'm praying for the best.
InsyaAllah...

2009-07-17T07:59:00.000+08:00

I feel that it's atrocious. How can you openly sell replica bags out in the open? Via multiply. Don't you think that it breaches the copyright policy? I was surfing through a friend's site and I clicked on one of the links posted on the shoutout. The audacity of some people.

And it just dawned on me that this is the year of having babies. At least for my friends who are expecting to deliver soon. One of them is actually due today! Wow... I can only imagine that it'd be a huge change in one's life. Right from your sleeping habits to your emotional needs. When I do have a baby, I doubt I can do without a domestic helper. It's what I'm used to. Mum had her mummy and the maid around. Wait... who am I kidding? I can't do without a domestic helper even for now. Heh. Well, I'm learning. I've never done so much housework in my entire life before till I got married. I've learnt to make the bed, keep my clothes (and hubby's) in the wardrobe and put my plates in the kitchen sink. That's about all that I can do. Haha. Not much I know but it's a progression. But I only make the bed when hubby's home. Other times, it's back to bibik cleaning up the room. I've never liked the idea of making beds. It's too tiring. There's the smoothing of the fitted sheet, the fluffing of the comforter which is super heavy by the way and the fluffing of the pillows.
After that, I'm beat.

There was once I mentioned that good news have yet to be confirmed right? Well, they're all confirmed now. One of them is the latest bag I bought. I showed it to hubby and he was shocked that I would spend so much on a bag! He thinks that I should be saving that money instead of splurging. I showed to Mum when she returned from Melbourne and she says it's gorgeous. But I promised hubby that I won't be buying any more bags this year. Next year, it's a different story. Hehe. But conscience did prick my mind when the hubby commented. I just never looked at it that way. What he said makes sense which is why what he said makes me feel guilty for spending so much money. I have to admit though that keeping that promise will prove to be quite tough for me. That implies that I can't go window-shopping anymore and I have to restrain myself from looking everytime Mum buys a bag.
I need to save more.

It's a mid-year's resolution.

2009-07-16T18:05:00.002+08:00

I was in shock but now I'm okay. And the department knows.
I had to inform my boss. Make that bosses.
Their response? Ironic in my opinion, to say the least.

Mum's home. She came home last night around midnight or so and she brought along with her so many munchies!
I love my mummy for knowing us so well.
And the conversations we've had with Asyraf are very entertaining to say the least.
Last night at 7, he called and he wanted to watch the Korean drama that we've always been watching.
So we turned the lappie around so that he can view the TV and he was pretty happy watching the Korean drama from Melbourne with the use of videocam. Then we chatted for a while, lots of nonsense, before he went to bed.
I know he'll be home soon. He has plans to return at the end of the year before his term starts again in February 2010.

Now I've to wake the hubby up from his sweet slumber for dinner.
And I hope Asyraf's doing fine in someone else's land. Knowing him, he should be able to make friends pretty easily. As it is, he's pretty chummy with his dorm mate.
My baby brother's all grown up!
I'm still too used to the idea of chiving him around... at my own convenience.
Haha!

2009-07-12T00:00:00.001+08:00

I'm itching to get my hands on a new magazine. I don't feel like re-reading any of the books.
For tonight.
I need to look-see. Without a new magazine, what can I look-see?
I don't think I should be viewing anything online.
That would just invite impromptu purchases.

I miss my hubby.

Update: At 12.10 a.m., I'm famished. Can you believe it?

2009-07-08T17:39:00.000+08:00

I've been sleeping through the days. By the time I wake up, it's almost evening.
Just like today. Stomach's been real queasy. There's too much gas and the diarrhea hasn't ceased. In fact, it got worse last night. I don't mind flu and cough as much as stomach flu. With stomach flu, I feel so wasted. The days are gone and so are the nights.
Looking on the brighter side of things, I've 2 more weekdays left before I bid hello to the weekends. Pray that I get through the next 2 days.

I've been told to refrain from having spicy food, solid food and to eat small amounts of food at shorter intervals. For one, I don't enjoy my food. It simply felt like I was eating to fill my stomach so I wouldn't go hungry. And I can't eat much anyway! Eating too much at any point of time gave me discomfort. Oh... just go away. I hate having to eat medicine before I have my food just so I won't throw it up or pass it out. Hubby commented that my cheeks have sunken. How could they not? Everything I ate was either thrown up or passed out.

This feels terrible.
=(

2009-07-07T07:54:00.000+08:00

I was suddenly hit with stomach flu yesterday and it had to happen when I was at the driving centre with Nina to purchase her PDL. So there I was in the toilet while she was waiting for her turn, puking away. And I had such a spinning headache, I was surprised I managed to drive home. Nina's been a great help. She helped me to the GP after I parked the car, sponged me cos I had a temperature, a lil high at that too, and just doing everything that I told her to. Thanks dear. But she did get screamed at for the temperature of the water was too cold! She dumped so much ice that I was freezing! And so I'm home today with fever and nausea gone but the spinning headache seems to stay. I'll probably spend the day in bed.

I read Haz's latest entry and she's right! She's in her 33rd week already and that's fast! I pray for an easy delivery dear...
She's gotten a number of things for her baby. It's so exciting! I'm sure you can't wait for the arrival of your cute one! She's gotten a baby bag and it reminded me that I promised myself I wouldn't get another bag till at least next year! It's going to be a tough one to keep!
Well, I'll be waiting for that sms from you Haz, telling us that you've popped! It may be sooner than expected!

The next time I pop into a shop, it'd definitely be a baby shop. =)

2009-07-06T08:11:00.001+08:00

I'm on Asyraf's PC now. I think bibik cleaned up his computer table after he left cos now, I can actually find space on this table! A shocking revelation!
And his printer is visible! I must tell him!
There're his nasal sprays and chocolate squeeze on the table though. I wonder what they're doing here. I'll probably tell him I'm taking his chocolate squeeze. Heh. Waiting for him to return may be too late.

I wonder what he brought over. His wardrobe is still overflowing. Anyway, we've been communicating almost everyday. They met Mum's long time friend, Aunty Santhi, who married a Korean man but has been residing in Melbourne and she still looks the same! According to Asyraf. The last time I saw her was when I was in secondary school I think. She's lecturing in one of the institutions there. I've met the hubby before when he came over to visit. Nice man. Apparently the son looks Eurasian. Gotta be the features.

I shopped again yesterday. I bought 2 tops when Nina was the one who was to shop for shorts. They were pretty and they were on sale. Nina did buy her shorts but her stuff are charged to Mum. I lost that privileage when I entered NIE. But Mum still pays for some stuff and I can't complain! I saw this pretty pair of heels from Hue but I restrained from buying it. Somehow, I don't feel too good about it. Contrary to what I've been reading. I may just pop in again to take a second look.

Should I?

Oh, and Happy Youth Day!
*beamz*

2009-07-05T07:45:00.000+08:00

I may finally have a solid reason to open up a facebook account. During the holidays, I promised a few people that I would but I just couldn't seem to find the time to get started on it. Ironic, isn't it? Holidays... no time. But I was too busy to do so. When I bidded Asyraf goodbye at the airport, he told me to create a facebook account so that I can be updated with his latest happenings. So maybe, I shall. I just need time to create one. And the mood to do so.

I'm supposed to complete my digi today for Week 2 but I don't have the mood to do it now. Sighz, that's one draining task. I'll probably force myself to do it some time later today. Leave my Monday alone!
I'll probably make use of tomorrow to send the car for servicing.

It's time to resume sleep. Sweet dreams. It's an unearthly hour to be awake on a Sunday morning.

2009-07-04T17:43:00.003+08:00

It really irritates me the way she questions. It's too intrusive. Then again, what can one expect from one who's had poor upbringing. Well, that's the kind of impression that I get from her self portrayal. I just hope her child doesn't grow up that way too. But then again, a child is usually close to the mother.
Let's not talk about money. You can't afford half the things I have and the things that I've been showered with as a child. The holidays that I go to since I was a kid. Not that I'm parading myself, but I hate it when people start comparing and think that she's always better than the other. Sure, I always joke around with my siblings and declare that I'm the best. But the truth is no matter how good you are, there's always someone better than you. That's the way we were brought up. Oh she just irks me by the way she asked that question.

Talking about possession of items, I got it! I finally got that Chanel bag that I've been dreaming about! Ooooh... I can't wait for the item to arrive cos it's currently with Abang Emi who's still in Paris. It's 1.2K cheaper. It was a huge temptation that I couldn't resist. Hehe. Asyraf thinks I'm not thinking straight. Oh and he's in Melbourne now. He'll be there for 4 years but I think he's coming back in 6 months time. I miss him cos it's quite different without him around. He's bored when it's at night. Oh I can totally empathise. I've never taken a huge liking to Australia to be frank. The people are rude, the shops close too early and as my age increases, I'm finding that there's nothing for me to buy! And that sucks! How can anyone ever go on a holiday without shoppping?! But I love Europe. The people are friendlier, much friendlier, except for the French. And there's so many things to buy! But I'd still love to go on a shopping spree in States. Kak Ina and I planned to go there for a week or so and do nothing but shop. I don't know when that will happen.

We're currently saving for the house. I don't know how much it is that we need. Cos my parents spent about 80K doing up the house when we first shifted here. That was in 1993. I can't use that as an estimate cos that's seriously way out of our budget. We'll just have to save and see how it goes when the house is ready.

All these financial talk is getting me quite jittery. I think I'm spending too much.
I need to learn to scrimp.
Help me God.

2009-06-25T14:20:00.000+08:00

There was an 'urgent staff meeting' yesterday.
Agenda of meeting? Nothing new. H1N1 flu.
Seriously, if it's such a hassle, schools should just close for 1 week since the LOA period is for 7 days. And we have to be in class by 6.45 a.m. I don't see how I can make it to school on time. It's insane, an unEarthly hour to be in class, to be anywhere for that matter.

Anyway, I was reading Moddie's account of her having scones and tea. I love scones and tea! When I was in London, we had piping hot, fresh from the oven scones with home made strawberry jam and to-die-for cream. Yum... I'm salivating just thinking about them. I've a good mind to pop down tomorrow. Ooooh...

Right now, I'm too tired to go anywhere. Stomach's heavy after lunch and eyes are droopy. I had to force myself to wake up early to settle some stuff. And because of that, I had to call Singtel to privatise my mobile no. just so that my number will not appear on their screens. It's so stupid, I can't tell you just how stupid this whole thing is. And I'm positive I'm not the only one feeling this way. And that is why, I feel that I deserve a little of that tender loving care i.e. scones and tea, after such a frustrating week.

Here's to yummy scones and tea!

2009-06-24T09:10:00.001+08:00

The good news are not confirmed yet. But I feel that it's just a matter of time.
I'm trying not to think about them.

2009-06-18T13:04:00.001+08:00

Last night was a reminiscence of our singlehood days. Those were the days that when I was told to fill up forms, I'd be looking for the words "attached" or "engaged", the latter was a word that I looked for at a much later date of course. And because of that, I felt so silly! Haha. Obviously, official letters come with only "single" or "married". Who cared if I was attached or engaged, right?

Anyway, this entry is not about that. Last night, we had dinner at Ramen Ten before I accompanied him for his jamming session after which, we chilled at a coffeeshop. Then we headed to JB and finally reached home at 4 this morning. That only happened when I was a student with no morning lessons the next day. It was all in the name of fun! Now, I hardly get to do this anymore since my work begins sooo irritatingly early, and ends so fucking late. It's inhuman. Oh, I don't even want to go there. I can rant for hours.

Going back to where I was, last night was really fun. It's been such a long time that I've laughed so much over the silliest things. I'm happy that the hubby meets his friends on a frequent basis. I hardly have anyone to meet on a frequent basis! Everyone's busy and tired with work and personal lives. That somehow, seems to come naturally with age.

Anyway, I'm feeling so fucked up this morning. Okay, not so morning anymore. More like afternoon but since I've only just woken up, it feels like morning to me. There's only 1.5 weeks left of hols only! Aaaaargh! The agony. I knew I was cut out for tai-tai life. I don't mind staying home and doing nothing, with the maid around of course. I'm perfectly happy. As and when I need to shop, I'll just drive over to the malls. How nice. Contrary to what Mum says, I'm positive I can keep up this lifestyle for a very long period of time since I'm so good at being lazy and spending money. Haha!

Okay, enough fantasy for now.

Stop it.

Enough.

2009-06-16T10:46:00.002+08:00

Bibik and I made our potato salmon yesterday! Bibik did most of the work cos I was too afraid to use the knife, cut the ingredients and have anything to do with saute-ing. So I scraped the potato, told her when to put what, poured in the cream and milk, stirred the filling when it was all mixed together and filled the potato jackets with the filling. Even Mummy was proud of me when I told her I did all that! Yay!
And it's one of hubby's favourite dishes since he moved in with us. Usually, Mum makes them. His eyes lit with brilliance when I told him I was going to attempt to make the potato salmon earlier during the day.

Today, I'm making sushi. The hubby's on course this week, which means he comes home everyday. Don't know why but I've a desire to whip up something for him every day of this week. With the help of bibik of course. I'm such a scaredy cad when it comes to handling kitchen utensils. I'm hitting Isetan supermarket in a while... Need to come up with my list of things to buy now...

Since I'm blogging bout this, I might as well just list it down here:

bamboo mat (lost the old one)
nori
knife
prawn
apple
salad dressing
salmon (again... but I don't know how to 'smoke' salmon such that it still tastes fresh)
wasabi

That's about all that I can think of now.

Oh! And I came across this super interesting website that I've been working on since yesterday afternoon. Hopefully the hubby's not too tired later in the evening and can help me edit the layout. Then I can send it for print! Can't wait for the final product already!

Gotta bathe and start the day in full swing! Sushi making day...

2009-06-11T12:23:00.000+08:00

I'm enjoying every minute of my break. And I'm so sad every time I look at the calendar and realise that there's 2.5 weeks more only! Looking on the bright side, we don't have to return to school on the last week of hols. My P's the best! Heh.

Anyway, I finally checked out Uniqlo last weekend. I seriously don't get that vibe of "cool" clothes from the ads. All I got were home wear which cost me about 100+ in total. But they're comfy. Gotta give it to them when they said their cotton was the best grade.

I'm feeling woozy now. Cos I didn't sleep after bidding the hubby adieu this morning. And I can't help but miss him now. I know it's silly. He's gone to work. And he'll be back tomorrow. Now that's the tough part... Sighz.

I should just take a nap now before hitting town later in the afternoon. Robinson's having their gst absorption sale and I can't wait to get my hands on a few things!

Ooooh!
So exciting!

2009-06-03T21:27:00.000+08:00

I waited so long for this day to come!
In fact, I've been waiting since the start of Term 2!
The day that I can finally have a break starts officially today... Yay!

I have soooo many things that I want to do now that the holidays have started.
For one, I wanna clean up my room. His things are scattered all over the place.
Really need to clear a few things so that there's space to keep his things.
I'm still getting used to a lot of things though...
But I'm loving married life =)
Not that there're many changes to my lifestyle except that bibik doesn't keep my clothes in the wardrobe anymore! Except when he's at work. And that really irks me sometimes cos it's just sitting there on the side table.
I'm still getting used to keeping my clothes in the wardrobe when it's sitting there.
Sighz.

I'm already thinking of going shopping on Friday.
This is sooo exciting!

2009-05-19T17:36:00.001+08:00

These few weeks are simply madness. Just when I thought the madness is over when the exams came, post-exam period is worse! It's utter madness plus tons of headache and bodyache... and if I'm not careful, migraine!

Anyway, I logged in to relieve myself of stress. Yes, I'm still in school.
I've done all that I remember that I have to complete.
And my short hair is growing so fast... it's long already! And with added thickness after having slim hair for a very short period of time.
I still have that kink in my hair which I know that reboding will cure it. But I refuse to rebond my hair! Embrace all the kinks, I say. Thank God my hair is not curly or wavy. In a way, it's quite manageable.

I bought a bread toaster and dumped it on my table. So I've been eating nothing but toasted bread with kaya. After 2 days of bread and kaya, I'm beginning to feel a lil sick. Cos it's a lil sweet for my liking. So I'm munching on plain ol' toasted wholemeal bread now, which is yummy! I'm more of a bread and butter person.

Why have I been munching on bread? Cos I thot I could do with losing weight. Last weekend, Mum, Nina and I walked at least 13 km. The aftermath? We're suffering from aching thighs and calves. Still suffering a lil today. We walked that far to walk on the tree-top walk at MacRitchie Reservoir and back to the carpark. I'm sure it was more than 13km. Nina and I felt that the markings were skewed cos at one point, we walked so far only to find out that it was only 500m.
That was quite an experience for us. Thinking of walking to other places and other parks over the weekends. That would be quite fun eh?

I'm packing up soon. I feel so stinky cos the boys had their running test today which was so freaking hot, it gave me a headache. Plus all that screaming made me so tired.

Time to head home and rejuvenate myself for an even more tiring day tomorrow. The return of exam scripts for corrections to be done and checking of marks.
The ultimatum.
And all that analysis to be done... Oh, I can already feel a headache coming my way...

2009-04-21T20:54:00.002+08:00

With hair this short, I'm hoping to surprise the hubby when he comes home tomorrow!
It's not that short, it's just short for me.
Since I've had long hair for eons.
Having hair that falls nicely on my shoulders is short...
But I love it!

For now, I don't miss my long hair.

There are times when it doesn't feel like I'm married.
I still message him when he's at work asking how his day has been. It may seem silly but personally, it helps when I get a concerned message from my loved ones when I'm at work.
It makes the day so much brighter.

I stand tall when love surrounds me...

2009-04-19T21:33:00.003+08:00

Nashitah's nikah was held on Thursday night. It reminded me of this.

Such bliss only happens once in a lifetime. I pray for the happiness of all married couples...

2009-04-12T21:19:00.002+08:00

I was supposed to do so much over this long weekend. But not surprisingly, I did nothing. This if the first time during the 3 days that I'm logged in. I didn't have the mood to do anything associated with work.

Now that the wedding is over, there's nothing to look forward to. Well, except for my upcoming birthday. The hubby has got the day planned and I'm excited just thinking about it! I just wish that time will pass by without me having to go to work cos that just spoils everything. This is one damn long week. In fact, this is one damn long term.

Sighz.

As a feely-touchy person, I'm feeling the loss when the hubby's away at work. Cos there's no hand to hold when I sleep, there're no hugs and kisses before I sleep...

I miss him terribly.

Update: I'm craving for Beard Papa. Again... I had it twice this week.

2009-04-06T15:52:00.001+08:00

It's been exactly a month since we last snapped this.

Happy 1st Month Wedding Anniversary baby!

So... what can I get for him?

2009-04-05T20:22:00.001+08:00

For as long as I can remember, I've always been an avid fan of bags. Even when I was a kid.
I used to have different bags for different functions and destinations.
Now that I'm older, I still have that burning passion for bags, much to the hubby's amazement cos he just doesn't understand why I'm still buying bags when I have so many.
Well, honey, any girl will tell you that a girl can never have enough of bags. And shoes. And clothes.

I was cleaning my bag cupboard when I started to ask myself, just how many branded bags do I own?

2 Gucci
2 Fendi
1 LV
1 Burberry
6 Longchamp
1 Agnes b. (courtesy of Acap)
1 Coach
2 Coach wristlets

Those are just the ones with brands. Those which are not so expensive are also mounting.
I'm still eyeing 1 LV bag and that oh-so-pretty Chanel.
It's a wonder I don't have enough space in the cupboard for all my bags.

But will I stop buying? I doubt so. I'll simply find some space somewhere to store them all...

2009-03-28T09:06:00.002+08:00

Here I am, awake since 6.30 a.m. cos the hubby had to go to work today and I can't go back to sleep after I bidded him goodbye.
Mum's away again to Hong Kong with the 2 kiddos. Shopping trip.
So I'm all alone at home with bibik.

Since the wedding, I have been extremely tired.
And with a crazy Term 2, it seems like my work just never ends.
Which is why I planned to run some errands today to make my life feel a lot better.
I've yet to send the pix for printing and it has been weeks since the trips!
Okay, I'm finally going to send them for printing today.
After I'm done with the trip to my GP and facial.
I need some feel good time after a tiring week!
And it helps that there's plans to meet Haz in the evening! Yay!
It's been such a long time...

I need to upload the pix, settle some stuff online...
And the day starts in full swing!
I've been contemplating... Should I get that UTrek on discounted price?
Or should I just keep that few hundred bucks and buy that treadmill?

The curse of online shopping...

2009-03-16T14:30:00.000+08:00

The last time I blogged, I was still a single lady... Sounds just like the song by Beyonce.
Now, I've been married for a week.
And it has been a tiring week!
There's always something to do every single day.
We sleep late and wake up early.

We just returned from a short trip to Genting with his colleagues.
A super tiring trip cos it was so short and the journey was so long due to bad traffic.
But we did have fun with the rides and all. I simply love roller coaster rides, especially the triple looper kinds and the tower.
We're leaving for Bali tomorrow and we've yet to pack since we just came back last night.

It's a good thing that I've not really unpacked and all my facial stuff and toiletries are still in the ziploc...

2009-03-06T11:24:00.000+08:00

My hands have been henna-ed! It wasn't so red last night but this morning, the hue has darkened to a deep red. According to Kak Ina and Kak Ita, the hue will continue to darken.

D day is here. Surprisingly, I'm calm. It feels like any other day.
Except that I'm not allowed out of the house. Not by my mum, but Maklong.
I slept well last night, albeit late cos my aunt's neighbours came. People that I've known since young. Cik Amir came earlier this week too.
They're even closer than family cos they actually bother about us.

The room's cleaned and so is the house. It always amazes me when Maklong starts her cleaning spree in anticipation of an event. Even Mum says she's "gerak cepat".
My room is the way I want it to be. No frills and no fancy.
I can't stand those silly fur and feather thingee that they hang all over your room that looks so ugly and suffocating and worse still, you have to pay for such service.
I refused to have a dias at home and Maklong's not very pleased with that. Haha.
Cos Kak Ita owns a bridal company and she offered her service but I turned that down.
I can't stand it!
And when Maklong found out that I told Haris not to play the kompang here on Sunday cos I refuse to have all that noise around me, she pretty much turned speechless. Heh.
It's enough that I have to bear with all that noise over at his place and pray hard that I don't cringe and tell them to shut up after a while.
Mum can't stand it too. It's seriously too noisy.
Oh well, different people have different perceptions of what a wedding celebration should be like. But since it's MY wedding, I call the shots over certain things.

I still have to finalise my speech. It's the Malay part that's getting me muddled and stuck.
How frustrating.

Okay, it's D day. I need to rest cos the nikah is at night and I don't wanna be tired out then.
Clean up a few things then I gotta rest.

It's finally here...

2009-03-01T09:50:00.002+08:00

Last week was simply crazy.
I'm surprised I'm actually breathing.
And I simply have to say that I hate him even more so now!
We got together on Friday and we had a good trashing session about our thoughts and feelings.
And we have concluded that he's simply greedy.
He's doing all that just to have a beautiful portfolio.
What an ass!
No one I know likes him, that's for sure.
Fucked up.

I'll be on leave from this Friday onwards.
I'm glad that I'm done with all my tasks, except for marking, of course.
I just can't finish that! Because I'm in a fucked up place that takes up all of your free time.
I'm not going to bother. I'll do what I can.
I'm only human, not a robot.
So fuck you.

Time's ticking.
I still have so many things to do at home!
5 more days...

2009-02-15T18:53:00.004+08:00

I'm down with fever, throat infection and flu. Again.
Caught the flu bug on Friday night when I went to bed with a stuffy nose.
And now, I can't stop sneezing.
I'm having palpitations too and it's causing me to feel so weak.
This is like the 2nd time I'm down with flu this year.
Sighz.

I met up with Terence on Saturday with Mum and bro.
A meeting with the AV guys need to be set and I'm wondering if the montage will be played using a computer or a dvd player cos somehow, the burnt CD can't be played on a dvd player.
I need to buy DVD-R cds and that other cd.
I want to settle this asap!
The montage is 99% done, I'm just left with dining songs.
Oh... it's all happening so fast now!
And I don't want to be sick!

All my cards are out save for 1.
I should be able to pass it to him on Tuesday.
I just like to get things done quickly and as early as possible to save me tons of headache.

But getting things done way beforehand is a huge headache itself...

2009-02-13T22:20:00.001+08:00

I admit. I have a weakness.
I'm surfing bag websites again!
When I just said that I wouldn't. I can't help it. I need the distraction.

I'm having a major headache now and I feel like puking.
Busy schedule today after a hectic day yesterday. I got home after the tournament and fell flat on my bed. Concussed.
I woke up to peform my prayers and then I can't get to sleep again even though my head is throbbing.

So I'm up, checking and replying my e-mails, and hounding some people for work to be done, making notes everywhere to remind myself to settle everything from work to wedding details. And now, I feel like puking.
I'm stressed and I need a break!
So immediate relief was to surf.
And naturally, I went to look-see at bags.
Haha... They provide instant and immediate relief from stress.
Looking at the oh-so-gorgeous bags!
My hands are beginning to itch. Again!
Gotta restrain...

Anyway, Valentine's tomorrow. The overly overrated day of the year, make it of the century.
And I just found out the story behind it.
I'm just not taken in by it. Plus it has some religious connotation to it.
I've had enough of that for now.
I need to seek solace with my own faith cos it's torturous to sit through rituals associated with it when it's not what I believe in and I didn't choose to be there in the first place!
Anyway, that's secondary.
It used to be cool to buy gifts for friends for V-day when I was in school.
Now, come to think of it, everything was overpriced! What a rip off!

I can just imagine the scenery in town tomorrow. Packed with girls carrying huge, and I mean huge, teddy bears and bouquets of flowers that will wilt within a week which probably cost the boyfriends their whole 1 week's allowance or more.
It's nice to celebrate a love-day, I don't deny that but celebrating on your anniversary seems much sweeter, don't you think?

Love is in the air.
The nervousness has subsided...
I'm quite cool about it but I'm still wowed over the period of time left.

3 weeks.
Gosh.

2009-02-05T18:05:00.002+08:00

I always reach home earlier than usual when we have a field trip after school. And I always, I simply have to stress on that ALWAYS, never learn my lesson.
I will drag some of my marking home, hoping that I'll get them done at night.
But it's ALWAYS the same outcome. It's stuck in the bag. I don't even bother taking them out.
I'm too tired.
There are times when I really question myself, why do I keep bringing work home when I know that I won't get it done?
Security blanket. Just in case I feel like doing some work...
But I never do.
I'd rather meet the fiance if he's free or sleep early if there's no plans.

Then there're the wedding details to be finalised.
One thing that both of us agree on, we can't wait for it to be over and done with.
For that one day, so many things have to be done.
I'm not planning for a grand wedding. I have never wanted a grand wedding.
I just want my wedding to be cosy with people I know around us.
If it was up to me, it would be 50 people. Max.
250 people is already a little overwhelming for me.
Talking about the wedding, my wedding is exactly 4 weeks away.
4 weeks away.

Wow.

2009-02-04T20:33:00.002+08:00

I am so fucking shagged tonight.
A colleague was asking for my help with capitalism, socialism and communism. And I told her I'd dig through my stuff to see if I've kept anything.
I do have some notes on them but I'm frustrated that I did not keep the reading packs! Or at least the Soci 1101 book. Aaaargh!
In times like this, how I just wish I NEVER threw anything out.
Too late for regrets now but I can't help regretting!

Why is she asking for such chim-minology stuff, you may ask?
She needs the resources to teach her GE SS classes.
The gifted kids sure learn things waaaaay different from their normal counterparts.
But it's interesting I have to admit. I'm just not sure how much of the information will actually stick with them. But they are the GE kids. I'm sure they can cope with all the information given.

I'm done with digging those notes.
Now I need my sleep.
Good night.

2009-02-02T20:30:00.003+08:00

I feel quite frustrated with myself.
I left the office ard 3+, after saving all the work that I need to complete at home in my thumbdrive and, guess what? It's not with me now!
I must have left it on the table cos that was the last thing I did before I left the office.
This is so frustrating!
The reason why I'm saving it all in my thumbdrive is because the printer in the office has somehow gone haywire and we can't print anything.
Photocopy, yes, but not print. Isn't that just so frustrating?
I've a good mind to lug my printer to the office tomorrow so that I can print my stuff.
But how I'm going to lug it all the way from the carpark to the office, I've no idea.
From tomorrow onwards, I'll be bringing my external hard disk.
It's size will remind me to constantly check that it's in my bag and not lying around on my desk!
Aaaaargh!

2009-01-30T21:45:00.000+08:00

It's surprising that the jitters are here. Presumably, I thought that it only comes to one the night before... got that from talks with friends.
Truth be told, I'm nervous.
Not about the wedding itself, but about marriage.
It's a serious word that I wouldn't say, didn't have an impact on me before.
Marriage is a huge thing, and of course I thought about it a great deal before agreeing to take the plunge.
But now that it's nearing, this whole marriage thingee suddenly seems a lot bigger than it was to me before.

The responsibilities of a wife (gulp...), managing a household, weird stories that I've been hearing of domestic helpers lately... they're stressing me up.
Question is... Am I Ready?
I thought I was.
I have this theory where if I don't try it, I'll never know how ready I am for a certain task.
But this, this is unlike all the other tasks that I've undertaken before.

I need to have faith, in myself, in us.
Please.

2009-01-29T21:30:00.000+08:00

Why do I get the feeling that he's not what he seems to be?
No, it's not the fiance. It's a friend here I'm talking about.

Anyway, my guest list is done! Like finally...
1 less thing to worry about.
While people were busy eating their oranges on the 1st day of the lunar new year, we were busy passing invites to our relatives.
And don't you just wish that the holidays were longer?
Anyway, my dad's sisters were pretty much in shock to know that I'm getting married!
Cos they think that I'm still very young. They kept asking me how old I was.
I'm turning 25 in April! And my mum keeps saying she already has 1 child i.e. me, when she was 25.
My dad's the youngest you see, so I think, his sisters always feel that his children are all still super young. My eldest cousin from my dad's side, is 2 years younger than my mum.

I'm suffering from gastric flu. Like again.
Got it on new year's eve. Got caught under the rain.
I'm super sensitive to rain. Hate gettin the virus cos it makes me feel so crappy!
I'm nauseous all the time, and I hate to sleep in the whole day cos I'll feel worse when I wake up. I was given an MC for yesterday but I went to school and by 12 noon, I was about to faint. My world was spinning.
Went to the doctor again to get an MC for today instead. So today, I'm being a good girl and staying home.

Oh and I was looking at the calendar the other day and it struck me that the date was nearing... so soon!
I just never realised how soon it was!
I'm not panicking, just a little jittery.
A whole change in .. oh... everything!.. and sometimes I wonder if I'm ready for it.
Scary thought...

I'm just going on and on and on cos I've not penned my thoughts in so long and now, everything is coming out faster than I can organise my thoughts. Fortunately the hand moves as fast as the thoughts in the brain. I'm thinking of catching Bride Wars. A chick flick, I know.
Something that I definitely think the fiance is not interested to watch.
That's okay, I'll get Mum to go watch with me.
And Nina too.
And maybe the bro since he's just returned from his 3-week stint in New Zealand.
He says it's a beautiful place. Maybe I can probably head there for the honeymoon in June.
We'll see.

Aunty Faridah's going to France tomorrow. I'm thinking of getting her to buy an LV bag for me. But I just bought another bag this year. That's like this month.
When I suddenly thought about saving up for a watch instead as I was browsing through my magazine last night. I've always loved Omega. I saw one the other day which was about 5K.
Maybe if I stop buying bags for a few months, I may just save enough money to get myself a watch.
Definitely workable. I just need to stop peeking into every bag shop.
Then again, I've been eyeing that Chanel bag for quite some time too.
S$4 600.
I don't know how much it costs in Paris.
Now, I need to buy myself one of those boards where I can list down my wants according to priority.
It'll probably go something like this:

~~Omega watch~~ ~~Chanel bag~~ Omega watch
Chanel bag
LV Neverfull

Desires, desires...

Oh and my VS stash came in like a week! Thrilled! *beamz*

2009-01-14T16:08:00.002+08:00

It's been 2 weeks of school and a few changes have taken place.
For one, my school lappie has been changed! It's not the latest but at least it's not the bulky scrap metal that I've been carrying around for the past 6 mths or so.
My personal lappie is T61 but the school gave me an X60. Still, better than NOT changing, right?
So yayness!

I've got to head down to the bridal place later to pick out the outfits.
9 outfits. God, help me.
Need to pop by the sports hall in a while to take a look at the badminton boys.
I've been running and running since the start of the day.
Running around I mean.
Told you this year my duties list have just skyrocketed through the roof.

I'm praying this enrichment thingee is approved and I can circulate the letter.
I've not refined the ppt presentation I'm supposed to present in like I dunno when.
But I do know it's in a few weeks' time.
Aaargh!
And all that wedding stuff to finalise.

Okay, before I go completely out of my mind, I need to relieve my bladder.

Love, me.

2009-01-04T21:13:00.000+08:00

School has started yet again but no one I know is ready for it.
All of us are hoping for an extra week of break or so.
Heh.
In our dreams.

This year will be one busy year for me.
Involved in a few events more on top of what I have been doing last year.
And I'm still preparing for the wedding.
Pretty much have my plate full these days.

Anyway I'm so not looking forward to Monday, which is tomorrow...
Oh the agony.
At least my timetable this sem is better than last sem.

I had tons to blog about last week but I can't seem to get any of my thoughts down now.
An early start tomorrow so I gotta turn in super early today. That is if I can actually sleep that early.
Plan to reach school by 6.30 tomorrow morning.
Crazy huh?
I have to, to avoid the crazy traffic.

Sweet dreams people.

2008-12-22T09:29:00.001+08:00

Haz & I attended Shawn's wedding last night.
She looked gorgeous! And skinny, of course.
Both Haz and I were envious of her waistline of maybe... 22? It could be smaller, that's just a wild guess.
We were seated too far to take any photos. The photos would turn out minuscule.
And she had 80 tables.
Yes. 80 tables.
They managed to go round every table to have the photographs taken.
Which was quite an amazing feat!

Anyway, I'm in school now. The TA was supposed to be here cos I smsed him last Thursday and he said he would be in school on Monday but guess what?
I'm in school and the guy's on leave.
Oh well, I'm not lugging the lappie home.
It's sooooo freaking heavy.
Thank goodness I drive.
Guess I'll just have to wait till next Monday and join the rush.

I'm getting real sleepy now.
I slept late last night and didn't have a good night's sleep.
I woke up at every slight noise, which is very unlikely for me!
When I sleep, the world is dead to me.
So with 5 hours of sleep and troubled sleep for that matter, I'm yawning away now.

School's starting soon.
This thought hit me last week and I was so depressed when I thought about how little time I have left till the 29th.
It really sucks big time.

I can't wait for that time.
Prime time.

2008-12-17T11:45:00.003+08:00

The painters are here to paint my room today.
After today, I can finally move my bookshelf to that corner and start unpacking all the boxes!
I went for Colour Creation instead of the pre-set colours so I spent slightly more on the paint job but at least I get the colour that I want. *beamz*

I just received an e-mail from the school telling everyone to head to school to get the new printer installed on our lappies. I'm thinking of heading to school before the 29th in order to avoid the crowd and the rush. Maybe if the paint job is completed earlier today, I may just pop by.
That reminds me, I need to drop Qai a message to tell him that I'm popping by.
There's no point in me coming down and he's not available.
If it's not today, it has to be Monday since I'm packed the rest of this week.

Anyway, Shawn's dinner is coming and I have no idea what to wear.
Should I wear black? Or should I wear my blue dress?
I'm looking forward to it because I can get to meet Haz and tell her some stuff! And get to touch-see her Dior bag!
Hehe.
Which reminds me... the LV clutch? or the Fendi clutch?
Okay, I'm acting like it's my wedding. Too worried about what to wear, which bag to use...
But I guess everyone gets excited when there's an occassion to dress up... right?

When the wardrobe comes on Friday, I'll sort out all my clothes (again) and decide on what to wear.
So exciting!

But before that, it's meeting Frinn tomorrow and Haslina on Friday!
Yay!

Update: Today's our 2nd engagement anni! I just realised that!

2008-12-16T07:21:00.003+08:00

I'm back from a trip with the family to Malacca.
Contrary to popular belief that Malacca's super boring (I thought so myself), I did quite enjoy myself cos there were quite a number of things to buy since they're so much cheaper in Malaysia.
Contact lenses, spectacles, ... were cheap. And so was Mango since they were having a sale too.
And of course there was the Baba-Nyonya district which had lots of lovely food and wearables.

Now that I'm back, the room job can be continued.
I planned it such that it would be done by this Friday! Yay!

Okay, there's tons to do. Gotta get up and get cracking.
I know... It's only 7.30 in the morning.

And I'm still down with flu and cough since before the trip.
But I think the honey's helping.
Yum!

2008-12-09T13:21:00.003+08:00

I'm about almost done with the details.
And I've finally bought a mattress for the bed. Mattresses these days don't come cheap.
The curtains are in.
The light is coming in today. Painting will be done next week.
All in time before the arrival of the wardrobe on the 22nd.
But seriously, I will not be able to purchase all the furniture stuff without Mum's assistance.
Really thankful for that.
I keep worrying about not having enough money but Mum always reassures me that I have enough.
Thanks Mum for being there when I'm feeling so stressed up over all the details.

I never thought that I had to do so much stuff to the room for the wedding.
Part of the stress comes from Mum but I never tell her that. I learn to shut up and understand the rationale behind why things are done a certain way (at least with my Mum).
That's part of growing up.
Even though she motioned the idea of changing everything, the freedom of choice still lies with me. But I'm not very good at making choices so I still consult Mum.
Mum's my best friend, although some may find that hard to believe.
She's the friend that I talk to, ask opinions, shopping partner... And she's always there for me.
She's the best.
I can already imagine how much I'll miss her when we stay on our own.

Speaking of shutting up, I think that's the type of relationship that I have with certain people.
Because I really don't know what to talk about.
And so the best way is to just shut up. I can already imagine the awkwardness.
But it's for the best. I'm sure.

I've been feeling quite reserved ever since Saturday.
I've been quiet, only responding when I've been approached first.
None of that she-bang spontaneity.
I can't seem to push that feeling out of my system.
I'm beginning to think...
Oh I don't know... Sighz.

The lights people are coming soon.
I gotta go...
Till the next update.

2008-12-01T11:57:00.000+08:00

I can't wait to meet up with my 2 girlfriends this Thursday!
Coincidentally, they both thought of Thursday to meet up.
Meeting Haz for lunch and Haslina for dinner.
It's definitely a no-no day for diet. Haha...
But I still have to watch what I eat.
I'm ashamed to say that I've only ran once these 2 weeks.
I couldn't get up this morning cos I had a super tiring weekend of shopping!

The family took a trip down to Sitex on Saturday.
The 2 kiddos indulged in ipod classic, which I have to admit, is pretty cool with colour and video screening and stuff. But I don't see the point in getting myself one cos I hardly take the public transport anymore.
And the bro's holding on to my ipod before he got this new gadget so now, I can finally take back what's rightfully mine. Heh.
Their previous ipods died on them. I seriously wonder why.

Anyway, I got myself a bigger item, a much bigger item. Because Mum thinks it was cheap and it was worth the buy.
I have to agree, it is cheap but when I have to fork out that amount of money from my own pocket, it's a huge ouch. It's an ouch cos I'm not really into these gadgets.
Still, it's bought, I like it now (I was skeptical at first) and I'm waiting for the people to come and fix it.
I think the fiance's going to love it too.
I've not told him yet, I feel like keeping it a surprise until well, he comes over I guess.

That was just Saturday. On Sunday, we were out from morning till evening.
It started off with breakfast and a movie, then to town.
Bought the covers for the bed set and my wedding shoes.
Plus a trip down with Mum is not complete without a peek at The Bags.
Think Mum's coming home today with a new bag. =)
I have seriously inherited Mum's love for shopping, especially bags!
I'm happy to just buy, buy, buy even if it's not for myself.
Mum can totally relate to this.

Speaking of bags, LV has a new item in store.
If it wasn't for the wedding, I'd have bought it.
It's sooooo pretty! *squealz*

Okay, maybe after the wedding. Hehehe...

2008-11-28T13:25:00.001+08:00

There are times like right now when I question the sincerity of his intention.
I wouldn't say I'm suspicious; I'm just cautious. It sounds contradicting, I know.
In a way, this wariness arose from yesterday's event. I was really saddened by his action which I believe that he's not aware that I heard.
Why did he have to do that? Why does he make me feel worthless?
If I'm not what he has been looking for all these years, tell it straight to my face.
It may be a joke to them, but I'm sorry, I can't see the entertainment value in that.
Am I losing my faith? Maybe.
At such a crucial time like this, I know I shouldn't feel this way.
But I can't help it.

I wish I could stand up tall and proud, and say that I don't need a man by my side.
Okay, maybe I can stand up tall, standing at 1.7m above ground, but not very positive on that proud part.
After all, I'm a girl. I try to be strong but who am I kidding?
I'm soft at heart.
But that doesn't mean I'm submissive. No sirree.
If it works, it works. If it doesn't, it's time to move on.

I feel tons better now that I've poured out my soul on this virtual writing space and I let the tears wet my cheeks.
All I need is to let it out of my system.
The heart still feels crushed but I can feel the infusion of energy back into my body.
If the menses wasn't here, I'd have gone for a run.

Such are the sufferings of a girl.
If it's not issues of the heart, it's the hormonal system.

2008-11-26T10:36:00.001+08:00

This whole mini-reno thingee to my room is driving me nuts.
I'm stressed up cos there're so many things to do (and pay!), too many things to organise and too many things to worry about!
The wardrobe's gone. So now the home clothes and outing clothes are on the floor. All the bajus are stashed in the maid's room. I seriously worry about how I'm going to fit all my clothes into the new wardrobe when I've had the luxury of having 2 metres of space for myself, but now, having to share that space with someone else.
How? How?

The cable guy is coming this Friday, and so are the curtain people.
I still have to look for lamps, painting service...
Getting married sure is tons of a hassle.

I've been getting up early the past week since the last weekend.
Been looking around and running errands.
We were this close to buying a Civic when Mum remembered that the kiddo will be taking her license next year. 18 in Jan. How lucky.
So it's best to continue driving the current car.
We'll review the idea again next year I guess.
I was quite disappointed but I got over it pretty quickly.
Think the bro's pretty disappointed with the decision. Maybe next year...
But he won't be around to drive it since he'll be away for studies.
Maybe that's the reason for his disappointment?
Maybe...

I'm sitting here, waiting and getting a lil sleepy...
When's he coming?

2008-11-16T20:21:00.000+08:00

There were so many things that I wanted to blog about throughout the week. But now that I've finally logged in, I don't know where to start.

Well, for one, school's out. For the kids anyway.
Really looking forward to the silence this week.
As usual, there's tons to complete but none that I can do at home since I refuse to bring the school lappie home to connect to the intranet.

It's been so long since the fiance and I went out, dressed up and all.
Yesterday was great fun!
I should snap pix to add visual description to this blog.
We had a nice, quiet late lunch which kept us full till dinner.
And we did a little detective work which was pretty fun and hilarious!
On top of all the shopping...

Oh... I had a weird dream last night.
I'm not sure if it's a fantasy due to my feelings or is the dream telling me a sign?
It felt so real.
It's too personal to reveal the dream here.
But I'm dying to tell someone about it just to get an opinion.

Time is ticking.
I'm excited. But too many weird things are happening.
Distractions. I gotta stay firm.

2008-11-06T14:36:00.000+08:00

This week has been crazy.
I've been running around everywhere ever since the release of exam scripts.
And there's been so much screw-ups that I'm getting exasperated with the incompetencies of the people.
This is the only time this week that I'm able to sit down and have a sandwich and coffee for lunch.
I may be turning into a coffee addict soon (gasp!).
I've been having a cup of coffee almost every day this week. And that has never happened before!

I have an appointment with the make-up artist today but I have an adhoc department meeting later at 3.30. How the fuck am I supposed to make it there at 5?
I'm so tempted to just leave at 4.30 and make my way down. Screw the department meeting. It's not my fault that it was not informed to us earlier.
It was informed via sms anyway. So maybe I should just inform him via sms that I'm not going to stay. Haha... That would be fun!

Gotta run now. Meeting for HE starting soon.
My head feels heavy already.
Can't wait to fucking leave this place.
1 more day till the weekends! I can make it!

2008-10-24T11:45:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I wonder if I'm super efficient. Or is it because I have forgotten to do something?
Everyone else is doing something but I've none!
I've completed all that I need to... the remarks, the grades for non-core subjects... except for the HRC and the absentee progress which my co-partner said he would get them done.
So yeah, I have 1.5 h of free time since 11 this morning.

There's marking again this afternoon.
It feels sian-nish since it's a Friday afternoon. Let's pray that it will end early.
I'm feeling slight discomfort today and all I really want is to lay in bed at home with a hot mug of tea.
No. Make that a hot mug of chocolate.

I suddenly feel like catching a movie. Haven't caught one in eons.
High School Musical 3?
Yeah, maybe...

2008-10-15T12:35:00.001+08:00

School's out at 10.30 a.m. today. We had a short meeting at 11 and I am now so free but stuck in school.
1 p.m. is the official time out for us.
No one has mentioned anything about packing papers so I'm assuming that the papers are not ready.
I've called up the place to make orders, done all my remarks in the cockpit, edited what I needed to, cleaned up my workspace, ...
I can't think of anything else to do to kill time!

10th anniversary is coming up.
I really have no idea what to get him.
I'm thinking of a box of mini treasures.
But what treasures? Sighz.

When I was younger and even before this whole marriage thingee was brought up, I actually fantasized my wedding date to be our 10th Anniversary!
It's perfect cos it falls on a Saturday.
So crazy right?
Pretty embarrassing too to reveal such a weird fantasy.
Thinking about marriage when it was way before our time to tie the knot then.
And now when the marriage issue is settled, it brings to light so many mixed feelings about so many issues!
Life is confusing.

Oh great! Timecheck: about 30 minutes to go.
Think I'm going to wash the car today before I collect the orders.
There is no one else in the staff room except for me and my boss. I think.
His room is so quiet but the door's open.

I have a feeling Haz will hate me more if she reads this post.
Haha! Jealousy is an ugly feeling babe.
Anyway, you know you love me... right?
Heh.